Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Blogging... Relacement for journal entry?

My first trip outside Spain since moving there was to Dublin in Ireland. arriving there was pretty stress free, but other than the reason why I was there which was to see Celine Dion and IL DIVO in action, and to meet some old friends and a new one Angel.... I had to deal with a pain in the arse while I was there and when I got back to Madrid.

I remember browsing in an Irish Gift shop and something caught my fancy. It was a journal, it was at reduced price and I thought well then If I am going to write about my experience in Madrid, I need to write it on paper first.

I use to write in diaries when I was younger, what use to piss me off was having a younger brother who would read the contents of them and then blackmail you afterwards. I got smart when I started hiding them in places I knew he wouldn't look. then I got even smarter by not keeping one at all. I wrote what I was thinking and I was an unhappy teenager, which is no surprise really, but the issues that I had to deal with made living my own life harder.

Looking back I don't really know why I was so concerned about writing all this stuff down if I wasn't going to make use of it. Until I moved to Madrid.

Coming back from Dublin, I began to write what I was thinking, from the huge bust up with my ex flat mate to when I started work. The whole month was eventful, I had more ups and downs because I was starting to be myself more and I was writing what I was thinking. I realized that if I wanted to defend myself through words, then I didn't necessarily needed to use my voice, so I continued to write in my journal in the early hours of Saturday morning only a few hours before I was moving to where I currently live now.

I was still writing things down, for example, there are a lot of things about people I know that are in my journal I have for reference. Most of it will never see cyber space and there are somethings which I am going to post like feelings about other people who have truly touched me in a way that is hard to understand unless you have lived it yourself.

But what's with Blogs anyway? why do people feel comfortable pouring personal stuff about themselves into them. why would anyone go into explicit details over stuff that could start World Wars? And why am I willing to write about things like that myself?

Because I don't want there to be anymore surprises with me. My move to Madrid brought out the me which would eat the invisible chicken suit as Anticuchu. the old me would have never written half of the stuff I have written on here.

I am writing a book for God's sake, If I was worried about what people thought, then I have no chance of being a writer.

I am almost at the end of my Irish Journal. Will I get another one to write down more things or shall I just write on here.... who knows...

Film Fest Feast of Symphony Rock Fusion

Last weekend Innocence was Promoting in Mostoles Madrid where there was film festival... I didn't stick around for the screening of the movie cuz I had to go to Terminal 4 and pick up my boyfriend from work.. but I did see Innocence's performance.....

What can I say? Last weekend was great.. Never been to a film fest even though I was only there for the opening act....

I arrived at Mostoles about 5.45 pm and after asking around where the venue was, I came face to face with the funny looking building.. it's called the "Forest Theatre" and you can see why.. it looks like a forest. OK I found the entrance after figuring out where to go and was chatting a bit on the phone with Mia when all of a sudden a few feet away from the entrance, there she was. Geraldine, chattiing with Rosie (Carlos in case you read this your sister absolutely rocks!) Danny (yum) Sergio ( Thud) and El Maño (dear God Thud!)... El Maño's face was a picture when he saw me... he was surprised as hell, they all waved and Geraldine came over to say hi and thanks for coming.... she said it was a surprise to see me there... then I remembered that I was still talking to Mia and asked if Mia wanted to talk to Ger. Mia certainly didn't say no. then after that Ger had to go and get ready..

I had a problem at this rate.... I didn't have a ticket... Well it said free entrance and I assumed you didn't need a ticket... but the nice lady at the box office said that If I waited perhaps somone would come to the box office with a ticket they no longer needed.... I didn't have to wait long.. I asked for 2 and gave my spare to a friend of an Old lady in the queue... I was front of the queue but lost my place when I saw all the free goodies... but that didn't matter because where I was in the queue still gave me a shot in the front row.. Ger was doing a press interview and pics were being taken.. I managed to take one from where I was which was upstairs.

The doors to the actual theatre opened Half an hour late but it didn't stop me from getting to the front row.. I was asked if I wanted to move further to get a better view... excuse me? I'm in the front row here I can almost touch the stage and you want me to move? I don't think so.. and best of all I was allowed to use my camera!!

Ger came on looking gorgeous with her corset and as for her dancers.... Thud.... ALex the Choreographer was also there making them 4 dancers.. She sang McAuthur Park which I managed to tape 30 odd seconds of the start, Naturaleza Muerta in Spanish.... holy hell any closer and I would have fainted and Un Rio Profundo where the guys were egging everyone to participate... and yes someone shouted Guapa a few times!!

As soon a Ger was done I asked if I could leave the theatre and there were no problems with that... I couldn't hang around to see the movie cuz I needed to go and pick up my boyfriend from work... I waited for Ger and the dancers to exit... didn't have to wait long cuz Danny was the first one out and I gave him a Hug.. Followed by Alex G... who asked how I was, I told him much better... He naturally has a raspy voice... then El Maño who really is a great Hugger asked me how I was and said he almost didn;t recognise me earlier cuz of my hat.... it was freezing.. he was wearing a nice woolly scarf and I told him that he made a smart choice in wearing it. Then I said my goodbyes to Sergio who was dragging a suitcase and a bag with the "Trident" from Naturaleza Muerta.. then Rosie... I wanted to chat to her a bit cuz she was always busy last month.. she was a little busy last night too but had time to tell me she couldn't believe I was there for the show... She was even more surprised I was talking in SPanish... Ger was in a hurry to leave cuz she had to go somewhere for a promo or something... But she had time for a hug and to sign an autograph for my friend Angel... and I gave Geraldine an extra hug for the "Birthday boy"..

And Off I was back to Central Madrid...

Once again thank you so much Geraldine for sharing your wonderful talent with us..

and as for the Guys, Alex G, Danny El Maño (nobody calls him by his first name!) and Sergio.. thanks you guys.. you're all pretty special..

And here are 2 videos I took. they are very short cuz I wanted to save the battery...
I'm extremely proud of this one.

MacArthur Park.

Hmmmm let's see..

Fayre to Mostoles Madrid 4 Euros in Total....

Lunch courtesy of Carrefour Super Market... 2 Euros...

Entrance ticket to the film fest 30 minutes of waiting for a spare....

Seeing the look on a certain person's face when he saw me and making a 30 second video of him dancing.... Priceless!

Thursday, 16 October 2008

No time Limit on how long you know someone to call them a friend. Part 1

Last year, I traveled to 8 cities over 5 countries to see my favorite group IL DIVO in 11 concerts and one of my fave solo artists Innocence in 2 .As usual all five were fantastic and well the stories I could tell of my travels would make interesting conversation topic openers.

With all these concerts going on, you have a chance to meet people. Some you know from other concerts and some you are meeting for the first time. We would meet up and go for a pre concert drink and if we hadn't seen each other for ages we'd catch up on some gossip.

A lot of them I met on the forums of both artists and we'd chat for ages on messenger about everything from which song we liked best from each artist to funny things Our pets keep doing.

Anyway I'll tell you about my 4 best friends. I met them all on the IL DIVO forum and if you look at our nationalities Italy, France, UK and Sweden... we could make a female version of IL DIVO, but we wouldn't be as vocally talented... Actually Virginie has a great voice.

Speaking of which, I met Virginie in 2006. first on the forum after she was asking a question about where to stay in London when the group were going to make their appearance on the morning show "GMTV". since I had been there 4 times already and I knew where to go and what time we were likely to see them arrive,I invited her to stay with me and my family. She was surprised at first. here was someone willing to trust a complete stranger to stay in their home for 2 day, where as someone would have given her a list of hotels to stay. Virginie wanted to meet IL DIVO as she had never done before, There was a list of people going to the studio already posted on the topic forum and by some of the names I read, I knew some of them wouldn't give her a chance to get near them and some like with many artists feel they own the group...

We spent 2 months planning to meet up and what we were going to do or say and when I went to pick Virginie from Eurostar, she was really excited about the following day.. So excited that the poor thing passed out on the Subway and spent 4 hours in A & E wrorried that she might have to stay over night. well that didn't happen.

In the end we did go to the studio where they were shooting GMTV and we were greeted by the IL Divo manager who told us all to queue up as we were going to be sent in 4 at a time. Imagine that 100 odd women showing up in the pouring rain, waiting to go into the nice warm building where 4 of the most gorgeous and vocally talented artists in the business were standing... Since I was due to go in next I looked at Virginie, another french girl Guilaine and 2 Swedish girls (Part of IDSOW....Il Divo's Swedish Outrageous Women)... I let them in before me. they came all the way from another country to see their favorite group and if it were me going else where they would do the same.

Well I got in too to see them, and When their Website announced the dates to the world tour, Virginie was thinking about doing the London concerts and as the months went by we found out we were going to do the same concerts, 11 in total. Some countries she was visiting for the first time, like Ireland and Holland. we had a lot of fond memories of each visit to each country and we experienced some moments good and bad.. Like when we arrived to Madrid and the airline forgot Virginie's suitcase in Barcelona. When we met Carlos after the press release of his wife Innocence's music Video "The Show Must Go On" and he was trying to copy her French accent and when he said say hello to London for me... Virginie told him all of the places we were going to one by one and he said "Oh yeah and...."

Our get togethers are always fun. There's never a dull moment with Virginie and well that's what I like about Virginie... we do crazy things together... I said to her "wouldn't it be funny if during La vida Sin Amor (which 2 of the guys dance salsa) they had hula hoops!" The next thing I Knew Virginie drove me to a sports shop and we bought 2 hula hoops and brought them with us to the IL DIVO concert in Paris. It was hysterical.. I couldn't believe we were going through with it, and what shocked us was that the 2 guys David and Sebastien took them off us. David wanted to use his, but Sebastien was a bit erm... chicken.

Some narrow minded person made a comment on how French and Italians would never get on because of what happened at the World Cup final in 2006. Well that's bullshit because we've proven them wrong big time. Besides Virginie Likes the Rugby World Cup and Sebastien's best friend is Italian (Sebbie is French by the way)

I owe Virginie a lot as a friend because since meeting her, I have done things I have never done before. I guess having a partner in crime helps.. lol..

Next time I will post about my other best friends who have taught me more things about me that I didn't know about myself.

And who said you have to know someone for a long time to consider them as a friend. Why? is there a written law or unwritten law? I don't think so... What ever happened to taking a chance on people..I know people are scared to trust these days but hey if your gut instinct is telling you that you are dealing with a good person... why argue

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Things I can't stand the taste of...

Things I Can't stand the Taste of.

There are some things that I have grown an absolute dislike of since I've been living in Spain. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Spanish cooking, as long as you can actually cook it. But there are some things that are left alone to the professionals.

I found some things here taste pretty fowl and here they are including the reason I won't touch them with a barge poll.

It's actually a Swedish dish. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are better ways of cooking it but I can't stand it. It's a dish which is layered with Potato, anchovies, cream and god knows what else, this one had cheese but still urgh! My idea of “Temptation” Is a very gorgeous looking man in a...... You catch my drift.

I hate this with a vengeance. Who in their right mind would want to eat raw fish eggs.. I wouldn't serve it to my cat let alone my guests if I was holding a dinner party. Why would someone pay so much money to buy something you don't like the taste of just to show of to your guests and get into their good books.

Very overcooked pasta. I think it's disgraceful the way I've seen and heard the way some people cook their pasta here. First of all I know that I am in Spain but I lived in the UK most of my life before coming here and even though you will get some people who do not have a clue how long it takes to cook pasta, it clearly says so on the packaging. I was once told in Spain, everyone likes their pasta a little over cooked. I'd like to remind people that I am Italian and I take my pasta very seriously, You cannot expect me to believe that out of 6 million Madrilenos, everyone throws their pasta against a wall to see if it sticks there. The next time someone serves me over cooked pasta which looks like wall paper glue, it's going over their head!

Cooking cream. It makes me break out with so many spots and it does no favours for your figure not to mention your arteries.

Coleslaw... other wise known as American Salad. I haven't liked it since I left high school. Nothing has changed.

Bland Food. Please, not everyone in Madrid is like one of my Ex bosses from where I use to work in London, least of all me. I like my food with a lot of flavor. If it doesn't have at least a pinch of salt then I will not touch it.

Bland fried Chicken: Again put some salt on it.

Deep fried Chicken wings:
Who's idea was it to introduce this on some of the menus in the most boring places of Madrid. If it's not cleaned, covered in batter, flavouring, BBQ sauce or even a little salt, then do not expect me to eat this shit.

Raw Mackerel: I don't want to die of food poisoning thank you very much. I may as well play Russian Roulette with Badly prepared Fugu.

Who ever invented this, needs to be shot. It's absolutely fowl tasting
and I can't believe people actually drink this stuff.

Nachos: I've grown such a dislike to these things it's not funny. The only thing I do like is the cheese sauce and Jalapeños. Other than that, if someone offers to share it as a starter they can bloody well eat them themselves.

Mashed potato Soup:
I like my Mashed potato to well look like Mashed potato not wall paper glue.

Pasta sauce from a Jar:
If you are going to do something with pasta, please have the decency to put some properly made sauce and not some cheap rubbish because you either don't have a clue how to make it yourself or you can't be bothered.

Callos: This dish is way too strong for me and since my Trip outside Madrid, I haven't touched it since.

I don't hate them, but I don't love them either. I'm in limbo when it comes to this cocktail. I guess i still need to find a place that makes very good mojitos.

Baileys and Vanilla:
This I do not like at all because it tastes like something a five year old put together. It's Baileys Irish cream with Vanilla milkshake. I'd rather drink baileys either straight with ice or in coffee or even better with Ice cream.

Thursday, 2 October 2008

The World of Innocence, music, magic, dancing and fun!

We waited nearly 5 months for this week to arrive.... We had a feeling this time around the shows were going to be bigger, better and well full of surprises..... we were not disappointed. Here's our story......

The whole experience started the weekend before the concerts.... Mia and I wanted to see if anything was going on there and there was.. last minute preperations and Carlos was in fact there in his role of "mr producer" he is a pretty demanding guy.. he wasn´t coming out so there was no way we were gonna ask someone to call him over... We heard Ger practicing some new songs and we got to hear the new intro.. it made us question.

Well as a bonus we did meet 2 dancers.. the Choriographer Alex G and a guy that Mia took a shine too... Hinley... They remembered me from Gay Pride weekend, especially Hinley( yes I named my cat after him)... it was fun talking to them.. they didn´t believe us when we told them we would be there at all 6 concerts... I told Hinley that I was bringing my boyfriend to one of the concerts and I told him he was Peruvian... He said that where he´s from which is Cuba they have nick name for them which is "Panchitos". which means "trouble" At least it wasn't a swearword...

Right the week of the Concert...

The first night all these famous people from Spanish TV started showing up.. I met up some other friends I hadn´t seen in ages...well tell a lie 1 saw 2 of them in Dublin last May... Beatriz, Gemma, Candy and Teresa who were in the famous "Rooster" photo from last year's concert with us. we were talking about whether this concert was going to be packed. I said yes.... but because there was a premier of "Che The Argentine" a few yards away some were unsure.... Oh ye of little faith...

Well one of the guys was from a TV series I watch when I am not working.... he's cuter in real life... also there was a cute guy with very long hair who was South American with god knows how many buttons undone on his shirt.. I say that cuz I could see his tattoo of a spider on his chest...

OK Never mind that...

We we entered the venue there were free drinks.. Mia handed me a flute with Spumante which I thought was wierd considering we were in Spain,... but hey what can I say cheers Carlos!!!! I took wine too and Gemma told me that one more of those and I will start thinking Geraldine has a twin when she's on stage... ha ha ha..

We got to meet the mother of the artist France who just screams personality, as usual she wore white which she wears quite well..

The intro of the concert was spectacular.. it had the same as before.. you know intro to Lettre a France then Naturaleza muerta and then the intro to Macarthur Park... but what was super spectacular was Geraldine´s entrance. She was suspended high up in the air on a harness with a Guardian angel behind her with his wings stretched far out... he looked familiar... I looked closer and it was El Maño!!! OMG OMG!! finally we got to find out what the intro was like... when they were both on the stage the rest of the dancers got into position and this angel boomed "Welcome to the World Of Innocence!" Mia wasted no time in pointing him out to me and I was like "OMG I know!"

He got his wings off really quick, Then as you could probably guess Ger went into "The show must go on" and well it was fantastic... what was really fantastic was that because the stage crew had to make room for the stage they took out the front row... so the the second row that we had became the front row...

MacArthur Park was spectacular.. and As for Maldita Soledad, this time Ger was singing by this tall gate.....

OK Gotic from the Tula Brothers.... It´s always a joy to see these 2 in action.. the gold pants were exchange for black short leggings but still OMG!!!

Lettre A France.... I will admit that I was crying to this song even though my french is pretty bad but she was sensational as usual.. Sin tenerte A Ti.. love this song... maybe cuz of the action that goes on around her.... sorry but very difficult not to notice those guys and those chairs... at one point H had El Maño drop to his knees in front of me with his chair and yes I was thinking "Thank you God". Had I attempted to take a picture of that moment I would have dropped my camera along with my jaw.

Por quien Vivir por Siempre..... every night, Ger made a funny comment About why Carlos wasn´t there... she said it was an interactive duo and that she had no idea what it meant.. "I suppose "Inter" for international and "Active" because it´s not passive... i don´t know I´m blonde... sorry I am trying to make jokes here!"

The first night she said "a lot of you have asked me lots of questions for example if I can give them the phone numbers of my fabulous dancers (Me me me me!) and if all this is mine (she was pointing to herself)... well of course it is I paid for it!" she went on to say Carlos was with 3 other guys who were OK and they sing OK but her team were way better....

But this interactive Duo was sensational, her voice has grown in the last year and this duo was sooooo much better than last years.. seriously it was.. of course Carlos appeared on a huge screen singing and he was spectacular too... the 2 dancers Alex G and Gema were sensational and as usual I was crying..

There was some new bits in this concert... there was another Coriography with the dancers... it was like Mortal combat meets, Matrix, meets Crouching Tiger meets this new craze from Japan with the huge drums... It was a fight simulation sequence but it was bl****dy good!!

I loved this song Ger sang next,, it was in French and her costume was amazing... She was wearing a silver metalic suit and was sitting on a chair with wires and bolts and stuff... she was pretending she attatched to it... Alex and Sergio appeared on these pogo stilt thingys and they were the evil cyborgs who controlled all the others stopping them from trying to get to Ger.. the coriography was great on this one... I´ve never seen such hot looking robots....

the 2 girls Sira and Gema did an acrobatic routine which was superspectacular....

Then she did a track which I think it´s called This Woman´s Work...By Kate Bush. She came out with a green shiny over coat dress thing which had a lilac underskirt which made her look like she was wearing a crinolin.

This was one of my fave numbers... she did a cover of Duran Duran's Wild Boys and my god... she came out with a Burgandy Corset and the rest of the guys came out with capes with crimson shoulder pads and red pants.. OK you can probably guess that they were vampires in this song... I actually like Vampires....hmmmm they do give a whole new meaning to the phrase "Bite me!"

Then The kungfusion sequence... this would make a great workout DVD by far....

Naturaleza Muerta was next.. I love this song and this time Ger was singing it all in Spanish.... There was some sould effects of sea and Seagulls at the begining before she sung the song...

The next 3 songs were super sensational as always.. Especially Frozen... what can I say... men and Leather.... Un Rio Profundo was better than last year cuz the were going nuts.... at one point... Skizzo grabbed El Maño and they do si doed and Gema was sitting on El Maño´s ass and kicking her legs up while he was moving his hips.. the strength on that man...

The encore was a Dance version of Macarthur Park which I made a video of at Gay pride 2 months ago but still have no idea how to upload on youtube

I got waved at by my lovely Angel.... so I was grinning like a cheshire cat...

After the show there was like a mini party the VIPS were in the foyer with drinks and nibbles and Ger was going to meet us all with her dancers... This was a chance for Mia and I to give them a little something to remind them of these concerts. As you know Ger likes to collect fridge magnets and Mia had some made of Ceramic in the shape of Roses... We did play the game of hunt the dancers as we had a rose for all 10 of them.. the first one was El Maño.... who said "I saw you in the front row." i was blushing well so was he when we gave him a rose.. he speaks a bit of English so to Mia´s relief I didn´t have to translate... He´s a good hugger... then there was Yurij, Hinley who is a flirt and told me not to be so nervous... he was making me nervous when I met him the weekend before... Alex G was lovely but he was ill... I told him not to get too close but did he listen like hell he did...

Alex and Sergio luckily spoke English well they did to Mia, and the girls were surprised we got them something each... one of them did the "we´re not worthy" gesture when I told her we were going to all the concerts....

Tete is a new dancer and also from Cuba he was such a sweet heart... and Skizzo awwwwwwww he shaved his hair but he still looked like a cute pirate... He was shocked when I told him he had admirers... I said would you believe me if I told you and he said "no" I also asked him what did he do to his hair and he said "why don´t you like it?" and I rubbed his head and said yeah I do... i asked him what his real name was and he replied "Skizzo"

Mia wanted to see if El Maño´s spikey hair was rock solid... she said it felt like sugar.... yum... we got a pic with him.... hmmmmmmmmmmm sugar....

Ger was quite busy this night and because I was sick I decided to shake her hand rather than kiss her.. she loved the fridge magnet... She was really busy chatting to everyone this night.... We met France again I told her we loved the show and I cried and she said "me too" then what surpirsed me was she started speaking to me in Italian, I was a bit relieved but she said she had lived there for 5 years when Ger was a girl.

We had a chat with Antonio, Ger´s other manager.... he´s a lovely guy.. cute too... he was also at Celine´s concert in Dublin...

The rest of the week was pretty much spectacular, The dancers and Ger came out through the stage door the rest of the week and we said our good byes to them.. they were surprised we were there the dancers that is... Yurij said we´d probably know the who concert by heart by then... well conisdering that I couldn´t cheer or hardly speak until the last concert.. Mis had to cheer for me....

Thursday´s concert was the best of the 6, there were a few boo boos... Carlos suddenly appeared behind the gates during Maldita Soledad, The lights were late for Sin tenerte A Ti, The sound effect didn´t come on for Naturaleza and Sergio Bless him forgot to do his flies when he had his outfit on for Lettre and Sin tenerte...

our little coven was made complete when Vivien arrived on Friday and we went out for Sangria me, Mia and Vivien.... I goty a little tipsy which Hinley thought was funny...

´Saturday´s was special cuz, all of the mums of the dancers were there, and France and Carlos´parents too... I decided to bring my boyfriend with me to this concert. We arrived ten minutes before the concert started because David being a man who has a bit of a problem with time keeping arrived late and I was on the verge of choking him... (no i'm kidding) but i've converted him into a fan to it can't be all bad... I introduced him to the dancers after the show. Hinley laughed when they met perhaps he thought I Told him that he referred to him as "Panchito" well I did but he didn't know what it meant..... and at one point El Maño looked at him and said "Oh you´re the guy she was waiting for the other night!" David looked at him and said "She told you?" and he said "She was waiting ages for you mate" Then he Met Ger who told me that she loved the last present I gave her and I gave a book this time called Messages of water... then she looked at David and Said "Look after her for me!"

The Belgian Divas were there too... Lindsay, Nadia, Linda and Silvia.... El Maño proved to be quite popular for a photo because the girls all got one with him and VIiven.. the photos are hysterical because he has a different face with every girl.

Carlos' mother and father were at this concert too and I said Hi cuz Mia and I had met them earlier in the week.they asked me how I was because they knew I had been ill. (when MIa and I met them I could barely speak) I introduced David to them and the first thing Sr Marin asked was "He speaks SPanish doesn't he" and I said "he's Peruvian" they were chatting for a bit about the concert and about singing. I wasn't surprised.

The last night was the most emotional of the week cuz obviously it was the last one... but what melted my heart was seeing my 2 friends Anto and Marieta... both of them are 15 and they were so nervous.. they started crying when the intro began and throughout the whole concert they were holding hands and crying and singing to all the songs.... their dream came true after the show when I took them to the stage entrance and they met Ger... Seeing them made me burst out crying and when El Maño came out (he´s always last) he gave me a hug and said we´ll see each other again soon.... we took one last pic with him.... special thanks to his friend who took it (who was also very cute)... Anto and Marieta also love Sergio so they were happy to have a pic with him and Alex too..

I was happy that they met Ger... stroked their cheeks when they were still crying....... she told us that thanks for supporting her and I said your welcome, I thanked her for a great week and did the same with most of the dancers... I even ran into a friend I didn´t think was going to be there...

It was a crazy week but I am soooo happy.. thank you so much Geraldine for a great week....

Thank you so much to the following, El Maño, Skizzo, Alex G, Alex, Sergio, Sira, Gema, Tete, Yurij, Hinley and Tete for you talents too you all rock...

Thanks so much to Rosie.... you totally rock...

To Charlie the concuctor.... thanks for trusting us with your son in the same row as us.

to Carlos.... you are a genius, you totally rock, thanks sooooooooo much for this.....

Oh and would like to espacially thank Vivien and Mia, thanks so much you guys... this had been an adventure and I can´t think of anyone else to share this with... Mia you really need to teach me how to dance and Vivien, if you're not in that Orchestra next year playing the cello then the conductor is being silly!

and to Skizzo, ALex G and Hinley.... Sorry.... sorry you guys got my cold... I warned you I was ill but the reply was "that´s ok we don´t have to sing!"

whoops I forgot El Maño sounded like he was getting a sore throat... as much as it pained me to tell him "don't come anywhere near me i'm sick".. he said he wasn't bothered and came closer...

ok more booboos but that´s what made these concerts memorable..

Hinley falling over his own pants during Kungfusion,
El Maño´s ribbon decided to cling onto his body...
Yurij almost fell off stage twice.... and at one point so did El Maño (we know he´s called Jesus, he prefers El Maño)It would give a whole new meaning to the phrase "It's raining men"

funniest moment.... seeing El Maño acting like a loonie outside with his friends pretending to flie... He´s a big guy by the way.. (what was else was in that can of Fanta?)

And well I am counting down to the next performance.... If I had to do it again, I would do it exactly the same but I would change one thing... thatis to take better care of my health.

Monday, 28 July 2008

Finding Salvation in Goya and Vasquez De Mella, Madrid,

Yeah It sounds a bit silly but, It was the day I moved into my new place... I Pretty much promised that I would be at the closing Ceremony of the Gay Pride Parade in Madrid and well here´s my story.....

That weekend was incredible... It was like celebrating a big birthday party and Whenever there´s a Chance to Support Innocence doing a promo, I´m there like a shot.

I was pretty much have a nightmare week and needed to basically take my mind off the fact that I was given so much heart burn that the acid would have burned a hole in Vasquez De Mella square. With that out of the way, I met my landlady, signed the contract, handed over the money, moved my stuff in and 5 minutes after everyone left I was Taxi faster than you can say "Expo-Zaragozan!" (one of my jokes)

Now Innocence was suppose to be singing at 8.30pm and I was arriving there at 9.45pm. Thank God that no one in Spain takes punctuality seriously because when I got there She hadn´t sung yet and was busy in a sing off with little Alex Arce.... Alex was making an impression of Geraldine but she out sung him. I hugged and kissed both of them we were chatting and I had mentioned to her the night before I was moving flat (we had an interesting conversation about cats) Well That was how I found out what she was singing this night in question. I was scanning the back stage to see who esle I could talk to. I mean last year I had seen a few dancers hanging around the Teatro Haagen Dazs but was a bit of a chicken to approach them. I Thought to myself "not this year!"

But there was one other person I wanted to talk to and as soon as I spotted him my heart skipped a beat...It´s not a secret that I think this guy is hot so I walked over and called him over, he gestured "who me?" and I said, "Yes you, come here!" The first thing I said was "you´re name is Jesus isn´t it?" and he said "Hell yes!" (well his exact words were "Si Coño!" but hey!) and I asked him if he remembered me from last year, he said where and I explained but he said "sorry i´m busting my brain to remember where I´ve seen you.." then I showed him the photo and well he took it off me and showed the other dancers yelling "Look a photo with El Maño!" OK for those who are not from Spain it bascially means "The Zaragozan".why he referred himself in a third person I will never know perhaps he´s a fan of "The Rock" I dunno. He definately has a thick accent. I tried explaining that I´m not Spanish and he said "yeah I can see from your top!" we were chatting about the fan following these dancers have everywhere,... God was he surprised and I told him "you´re a handsome guy." he put on his "aww shucks thanks" expression. It´s not often that I make a grown man blush...

Well I asked for another photo which surprised me that I didn´t pass out at the time. I had my pic taken with alot of the guys and Geraldine herself... I had to basically tell the dancers they had fans everywhere.. I mean their faces when I told them, especially Sergio Alex´s brother and Jesus. Ger took one of me and the Arce brothers and Danny who made a great fake birthday present for my friend who was just visiting.

And as for the show? Ger was spectacular as usual singing a Dance version of Mc Arthur Park, then The Show Must go On and Un Rio Profundo! The Show Must go on is a Particular favourite of mine cuz I love the facial expressions that the dancers make... well am I the only one who thinks someone rolling thier eyes back like WWE´s Undertaker is hot.... (He must be a wrestling fan!). I was busy shooting a video of the show until the memory cary was full halfway through "Un Rio Profundo!" but hey I went back stage... (If you can call it that) to chat to the others again... got an intersting photo of Alex G, and Jesus pulling funny faces and I gave Jesus a teddy from London, well he didn´t know it was his at first. I just told him to hold it while I took a photo. he was on the verge of giving it back when I said "it´s yours" His face...

It was sooo fun chatting to these guys and Ger, it was especially funny when Little Alex and Ger were singing and Alex was trying to outsing Ger but you know Ger she won and Alex was like "Oh do be quiet!" as a joke. I think it was the quote that made King Juan Carlos the King of Quotes!

It was just fun, after the do, Ger went home and I asked her how Carlos was and she said he was busy, And I SAID i can imagine, the dancers were chatting to their friends and I met a friend who basically told me she wanted Danny for her birthday. so i told everyone it was her birthday. I hadn´t seen her in ages and didn´t recognise her. we have a lot to catch up on especially since she has been through alot of crap that I can guess from where excuse my language.

It was fun... what a way to cristen a new flat.

the Whole atmosphere there was amazing... I was dancing, singing, chatting with the party goers and well my first "Tinto De Verano" wasn´t too bad either!

All I can say is, Thank you so much to all the party goers for a great atmosphere, to Geraldine, Alex, Sergio, Alex G, Danny, Yurij, Sira, Gemma, Jaime who is new to the team, and of course Jesus....

Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Back from La la land!!

I haven´t been around much lately cuz I moved into a new place and things have been a bit crazy lately. It´s a bit like starting from scratch... Finding myself once more only this time I can do it without any restrictions

I Cristened my New place by going to a Party.. Gay Pride 2008 in Madrid and these guys can really party. On top of that I met up with some interesting people.

I am back to writing my book about my life in Madrid and i´ll let you know how that is going.

in the meantime I am off to Enjoy the beautiful day out here in Madrid


Monday, 9 June 2008

When the Dawn Rises: part 3

"Well!" snapped Maria, "Hven´t you guys got anything to say?"

There was still silence.

The boys were still shocked from hearing the story about their much soughted treasure.

"Er..." Mateo croaked, looking at the other 3 and then looking at Maria.

"Where´s the book?"

Maria smiled and gestured to Rosa with her eyes.

"Somewhere safe." Rosa reassured them.

"But we can´t let you see it."

"Why not?" Asked Carlos.

"You´re not worthy." Esperanza said, matter of factly.

"What?" hissed Carlos

"Well," Maria added "You´re not!"

He began to get Irate with his sister.

"First you tell us you have the book, then you and your crazy friends fill our heads with this story about witch hunts and magic people, and now you are telling us that......"

"You´re not worthy yet." Maria interuppted.

"Eh?" the boys cried in Unison.

"You need to be worthy first of all." Esperanza added.

There was silence.

"You mean we have to pass a test?" Sergio quizzed.

"It´s not just any test." Maria warned.

Now they were confused. So many mysteries, so many questions and now they had to endure a test.

"Surely it´t not that tough." Paco finally said.

"It´s not a normal test." Rosa insisted.

"It´s a test of strength of the mind, body and spirit.It´s a test of endurance and of skill."

"But why?" Quizzed Carlos. "I´m sure none of you had to do it!"

"Sure we did!" Carolina snapped. "How do you think we found out we can do what we can do."

"But why all this test?" Mateo asked.

"We need to hide the book again." Maria explained.

"It can´t fall into the wrong hands."

"Great!" Paco exclaimed. "So what are we waiting for? Test us already!"

The girls looked at each other and then turned to the boys.

"There´s more." Carolina told them.

"What?" urged Sergio.

"We´re you not listening to the story?" Carolina hissed.

"You four are going to be tested for something else."

they thought for a moment.

"We have to guard someone?" Carlos asked them.

The girls nodded.

"Who?" Urged Mateo.

"Well it´s complicated!" Maria told them.

"But this is certain, we don´t have time. we have to do the "Melt the still life" ritual during the week of the full moon which is in 3 days."

"Oh dear God!" Sighed Paco.

"And since we don´t have time to wait to test you one at a time, we need to test all of you at once." Rosa continued to explain.

"And we have to pass?" Carlos presumed.

"Of course!" Maria replied.

"And if we don´t?" Sergio urged.

"That´s not an option!" Maria hissed. "You need total concentration for this test, If you fail then you might die from not being able to handle the ritual!"

"Er Maria!" Esperanza called her.

She gestered for Maria and the other 2 girls to join her so they could whisper privately to each other and they looked at the boys.

"Seriously..." Whispered Esperanza "You think they are ready for this?"

"They look scared." Added Carolina.

"of course they are ready." Maria insisted "They just know it yet."

"We´d better let the others know." Rosa suggested.

"Already told them!" Maria replied "They have everything ready!"

"So you are sure about them?" Carolina said.

"positive." Maria insisted. "Sure they are scared, but they don´t know what powers they have. They just need to learn how to harness them."

After discussing some more, the girls approached the teenage boys and looked at them.

"Alright." Maria told them.

"Do you want to be a part of this?"

The boys nodded.

"Good!" Rosa replied.

"But just to warn you before hand. After the Ritual, nothing will be the same afterwards in your lives."

So with that, they waited for the week of the full moon to arrive.

Nothing would be the same for any of them from then on.

Wednesday, 4 June 2008

Temporary breakdown...... At least my mind is still working!

I´ve been away from here for more than a week... a few things have come up, mainly the computer in the flat has decided that it´s had enough and isn´t working...

I wish that the whole story..

Sadly, it´s not. My friend, Flat mate, or what ever I decided to refer her as, decided to show her true colours when we were in Dublin last weekend.

With her it´s either her way or spend the whole time being in a mental sword fight with her. OK I decided that enough was enough and showed my true colours. When I get angry. she took the hint.

I am not a violent person, I try not to upset people or make them feel uncomfortable, I always try to be polite and respectful, like my parents taught me, but I am not a push over and I do no Submit to anyone.... My thoughts are my own and nobody is brain washing me or trying to make me do something I don´t want to do, I Decided in my teens that that was not going to happen.

God the reason I left the UK is so that I could be my own person, not have someone tell me what they think I should or shouldn´t do. Anyway I am lucky that Her family have been very supportive with me staying with them they told me to don´t take what she says or does personally, I won´t.

Well we did reach to an agreement, what ever I do in the privacy of my room, stays there and she knows to stay out.

Anyway all that out of the way, I feel better now knowing that I put my point across and I am not afraid to show it. Like I said I do not submit to anyone.

I will upload the 3rd part of "When The Dawn Rises" sometime this week along with my pics from Dublin.

Oh yeah speaking of which.... I decided that the Celine Dion concert was the last time I "lurk". sorry it´s not because of IL DIVO or Celine,l though I can understand why they don´t come closer... Those who know me will know why... I am way too polite to mention it here, it does have something to do with well... lets just say that, The guys read all the posts on their forums....

til next time..

Monday, 26 May 2008

When The Dawn Rises.

The next part of my story.

"Well?" Carlos Urged "Come on!"

Maria just gave him a stare which he took as "Shut up Carlos!"

"We´re going back in the 13th century, Most of Europe managed to Survive the "Black Plague" sadly for the pagans who were not interested in converting to christianity, they did not have it so easy.The ever growing fear of the persecution of non believers of Christianity forces people to go into hiding or just to practice their own beliefs and rituals in secret."

Maria paused... She noticed Paco was falling asleepm she turned to Rosa who in turn threw a shoe at him.

"As I was saying." Maria continued

"There was a secret sect though.. They were sworn to protect people who were special. people who could do things that scared the hell out of other people. Magic, They could fly, they were extraordinary. They were risking their own lives to protect these people."

She continued to tell the story as they all listened.

A man stands guard from behind a stone building that overlooks the city. He looks over from across a street and sees another man who signals for him to see if the coast is clear. He looks around to check and gestures with his hands to say yes. The man then gestures to two people behind him to follow him towards the building. A man and a woman. The woman wears a cloak and hood to mask her while the man protectively places his hand on her shoulder and then holds her hand.

Soon they arrive to the building and are escorted in side the building by the sentinel on guard. While the other man runs back to his post, to wait for anymore people or just to look out.

It was a very tense moment for everyone gathering that night, their lives were about to change forever, everything they knew, their way of life, was going to be compromised and they had to act fast.

By the door of this room stood four tall muscular men, in white robes, while standing by the window of the room stood a teenage boy with Olive skin, with very dark brown eyes which made him look like a predator, but he was unaware of it. looking at the man with the dark robes holding a book, waiting for him to address the crowd.

"Father," the boy urged.

The man looked at the young boy, there was something different about this man, he at times would try to hide his identity from outsiders, who not only regarded him as an outcast but un-Christian like. They believed he was not of this continent because fo his dark features,his hair and eyes and no one knew how he had arrived to this city. but he was from the North, from the mountains,Most peculiar.

"We are all in great Danger!" he finally said addressing the crowd who gasped.

"We have not done anything." Cried a young man.

"Why do they keep tormenting us like this?"

"Because we will not give into their demands." The man in the dark robes answered.

"But Manuel," another began "Does the presence of this man in this room, not put us all in danger?"

He pointed to a handsome dark haired man who was dressed elegantly, with a dark cape and, wearing a sword to the side. He was also holding the hand of a young woman.

Manuel shook his head.

"He's one of us." He said "He always has been. He may dress in a different manner, but his heart is true."

"I am sorry that my presence here will evidently cause much suffering." The well dressed man sighed.

"But I cannot let my parents get away with what they have done."

He was truly brave, he was not a born member of their people but he acted like one of them, and he was willing to turn his back on the life he'd always known to help them in their hour of need.


By daylight however it was a different story all together. The people taking refuge in the building were awoken by shouting. The building was now coming is under siege from what appears to be palace guards and a lynch mob chanting slogans and welding pitch folks, clubs, torches and anything regarded as a weapon. Manuel summons the two long haired men in the dark robes like him.

"You both have to leave." He ordered.

"Take Mateo with you back to the mountains, and take the book with you and hide it in a secure place. It must not fall into the wrong hands."

"Do not worry," reassured the man with the black long curly hair. "As planned we will accompany your son to Navarra, Karolus and I will protect the other followers."

"You two!" Manuel ordered to two of the muscled men, who stepped forward.

"You must protect them," he continued pointing to a handful of people.

"But especially her." They nodded.

"See She arrives to her destination safely."

The crowd outside continued to yell and use threatening gestures until a man steps forward from the crowd and knocks loudly on the door..

"Manuel!" he yells out loudly "We know you are in there!"

No answer.

"In the name of the King and the Church, surrender and we will consider sparing your Heretic Followers." The man continued.

Still no answer.

"Do you want to have blood of the innocent on your hands?" The man warned.

Suddenly from one of the top windows Manuel appeared now with his hood firmly over his head, still donning the red robes.

"And what exactly am I accused of?" he demanded.

"Of corruption," the man began "Heresy against the church, poisoning the minds of the young, women and Children and of witch craft!"

"And all this is because you believe the word of a malicious whore and her daughter whose advances were refused by myself and my son?" Manuel hissed.

"No, we have been more than patient for you and your followers to end this barbaric worshipping, which is ungodly."

"We are a peace loving people." Manuel insisted "We condemn violence. We demand to know who has told you all these malicious facts."

"Where we received the information is of no concern to you!" the man snapped.

"We are mainly here to be rid of the evil inflicted by Satan and his followers!"

"We are not Satanists!" Manuel insisted.

"Surrender or we will punish everyone!" The man warned.

At that point Manuel turned away from the window to look at the people looking at him, he was not going to surrender and he was not going to leave his followers in the hands of who he considered evil. He knew why they were being persecuted. Some of his followers had magic powers, some of them were able to teleport from one place to another, fly and do impossible things which made people question them. in this day and age they were accused of witch craft. But Manuel had a special gift even though he was shunned by the city for being the way he was, He knew what was about to transpire and could see into the future.

He was about to address his followers until the man with the mob began to shout.

"We know that the young woman who did the unholy act of conceiving out of Wedlock is among you!" he snarled.

He looked at the woman in question who was stroking her bump who was being comforted by the young man elegant clothing.

"She's married so leave her out of this!" Manuel yelled.

"It is an unholy union and the person who claimed to have married them has been dealt with!" The man spat.

"They came together willingly!" Manuel explained.

"The parents of the man in question did not consent to this union!"

"Prehaps not!" yelled the Elegantly dressed man. "But I gave my consent!"

"We know you could not been of your own mind and body!" The shouting man hissed

"she has surely bewitched you Viscount Florien in order to….!"

"Stop!" Manuel interrupted "The only corrupted minds here are not from within this building! We are not leaving!"

He slammed the window shut and turned to his followers.

"You must all escape." He urged them, turning to two muscular men who knew what he intended.

"Before they burn this building!"

From the outside the man continued to shout.

"The viscount's parents have the power to make this so called marriage unlawful, then the woman will be punished."

Manuel continued to ignore the ranting of this man.

"We cannot leave you!" a young man insisted to him.

Manuel turned to the young man and placed a hand on him.

"Mateo, my son," he began, "If anything happens to me, you will have to succeed me. You and your descendents are charged with an important duty. You have to lead a special army in protecting people like yourself and this couple."

The young man tried to insist, but Manuel was adamant. He gave his son what appeared to be a heavy book.

"When you arrive in Navarro, you must read this book and then go to the house of the Men from the Origin of the "Rising Sun" They in turn will train you into being a leader and in turn you will use what I have trained you as well as theirs to train others. And this book, someone will there, a Guardian, a woman will be waiting to be in charge of it. And one day someone will bring it back here." He continued.

"And as for you two. He continued turning to the two men.

"…We know." The fairer skinned one interrupted.

"Then what happened?" Urged Mateo, still reeling from the thought that someone in this story was named after him.

"I´ll go on."Esperanza urged.

"The people in this fort escaped with ways that they knew how. Some could fly, some could teleport or freeze time. Others just threw out potions to knock some of the angy mob out. it worked."

Most of the people got away but the pregnant woman seemed to leave Manuel behind even with the insistance of her Husband.

"Fleur, Please we must leave!" He begged her.

"Please child, go with your husband," Manuel insisted.

"He will protect you! the others will protect you and Manuel when he has matured as a warrior protector will protect your child and the cycle will continue."

Florien was now having doubts.

"It will be fine," Manuel insisted. "I will join you. You need to be there with your wife. you cannot let her raise your child by herself!"

Manuel placed his hands on Florien´s head and then on the belly of the young woman. he took their hands and joined them.

"Now go!" HE Ordered

They left with the mother of the young woman and some of the children. by teleporting herself, Florien them, and her mother.

Mateo was about to leave with one of the Guardians in white when Manuel stopped them, he was holding the hand of a girl who was no more than 10 years of age.

"Take her with you Mateo." He urged.

The girl was unusual looking, pale skinned, eyes of the deepest blue, and hair the colour of rubies.

"She can not be lost in a convent!"

Mateo nodded.

Manuel bent on one knee to address the little girl.

"Listen child," he began, "you may not underastand this now, but when you are older you are destined to become a Guardian protecter like my son. Your children will do the same and so will their children."

"Will Mateo protect me?" she asked.

Manuel nodded.

Mateo took the girl by the hand and with the help of the guardian they teleported out of the fort with the book as well.

One of the guardian returned inside the building after her Mnauel and other people of their group failed to join them all. They witnessed a horrific site, from the distance, the Fort was on fire and nearly, except Manuel, who was barely alive. he refused to leave and even punched him. The guardian had teleported out of the building without Manuel and soon was in the woods with the survivors.

"The others?" croaked Fleur

The man shook his head

"All dead.." he replied

This news upset Mateo.

"And my father?" he urged

"Why is´t he with you?"

The man took a deep breath.

"He refused to be rescued, he even punched me." he recalled "He told me if I didn´t watch over you, he would haunt me for all eternity!

"Nooooooooo!" the boy cried out. He knew his father had gone forever in the flames.

They all knew that they would never see the others that perished in the fire or even mourn them. the church would either have their bodies burned or bury them in unmarked graves.

After that horrific night, Fleur, Florien and Fleur´s mother escaped to Navarra with some of the followers and Mateo who was entrusted with the child, the rest of them spread themselves around Europe, keeping their identities hidden in case of spies. Manuel´s wish of handing the book over to a Female Guardian. A White witch.

As for the building from where the siege was held, a new building was built on top of the ruins and the bodies of the dead followers. No one was ever allowed to say what truly happened. But rumors were rife over the generations and tongues were wagging. Anyone who dared to say what they thought happened faced extreme punishment. As for Manuel, no one knew what happened to him. Some say he escaped others say he was tortured to death.

Esperanza, took a deep breath. there was silence. No one moved. no one dared to say anything. Not yet anyway.

When The Dawn Rises.

Just messing about with this story.... I´ve been trying to work with it for about a year but things keep changing. Ah well just goes to show that you can´t explain things. You just have to sit back and Enjoy the ride.

Madrid 1917: Some teenage boys are playing on the street and decide to investigate what appears to be a building site for a new building. Not much is known about this area but they decided to explore. Some digging has already begun in order to put down the foundations for this new project. Two of the boys are already down there.

"Have you found anything down there yet?" one of the teenagers yells down to his friends.

"NO..." shouts one of the boys in the pit.

"Nothing but rubble"..

"Buried treasure my foot!" another one tuts.

The two boys give up searching and return to their friends feeling very disappointed.

They become even more hostile when they see a teenage girl walking towards them.

"Go away Maria!" one of the boys hissed.

"Oh Carlito, you still don´t believe in that story about Buried treasure on Calle Atocha."

"What makes you think we were looking for treasure?" Carlos sneers.

The girl shakes her head....

"Because I told you the story about Calle Atocha, and you have always thought the buried secret was treasure!"

"Well what else is it then?" another boy demanded.

"OK so it was a treasure but nothing like gold, Jewllerly or even money."

Maria began to explain.

"It was a book."

"How do you know?" Carlos urged.

Maria drew a smile, which scared the other boys.. It was a cunning and almost wicked smile.

"My God Carlos!" Paco shrieked..

"You were right... Your sister is a witch!"

"Do you want to know more or not?" She hissed.

They 4 boys nodded.

"Then Follow me." Maria instructed..

There was no point arguing with someone as stubborn as Maria, She was Carlos´ Twin and even worse for him his friend Sergio really liked her and therefore couldn´t do anything. She took them to the basement of a house away from the city centre. There were some teenage girls there. two of them looked horrified.

"You bought strangers!" one of them shrieked..

"It´s Alrgiht!" Maria reassured "it´s only my brother and his friends!"

"They´re not worthy!" the other girl spat.

At that point, Sergio grew a puzzled look on his face.

"Not worthy for what?" He asked...

"You don´t know that!" Maria insisted to her friends.

"They are the ones we´ve been looking for!"

The boys were now getting uncomfortable.

"I think your sister and her friends are going to drug us, make us drink blood, strip us naked and then kill us." Paco whispered nervously.

"She´s a witch" Added Mateo.

"You said so yourself. They are all Witches!"

"Shut up!" the girls demanded in Unison.

The boys did what they were told.

"Carlos was right about me," Maria, began.

"About all of us, We are infact witches."

There were gasps.

"But we don´t want to kill you 4!" Added Esperanza.

"Especially not our own."

Now they were confused.. Their own? What did that mean?

"Er what the....." Carlos tried to say but was interupted.

"We´re all part of the same people." Rosa interupted.

"Maria was right, looking at you 4 I see it now."

"What are you talking about?" Carlos demanded.

"Alright," Maria finally reassured them,

"We´ll tell you everything from the begining, and why you are all here. why we are all here!"

They moved in closer and sat on the floor, while Maria sat next to them and began to explain the story.

Thursday, 22 May 2008

D.I.Y. School of Tarot Reading.

When I was younger, I use to hear my mums two friends talk about the time they got tarot readings done. Then I use to read people who well were told that something bad was going to happen to them and if they wanted to know more thy needed to give them more money.

I´ll tell you a story that happened to a person I know. There are some Digital TV channels that show these "Tarot Readers" and people call them to ask a question. Well this person told me that she called up this guy who did readings on an Italian TV channel and all she did was tell him her first name and how old she was. She was shocked when he started revealing things about her life, that she married young, that she had difficulties and what really shocked her was he mentioned that in all the years she had been married to her husband, he has never once paid her a compliment. And this was with 3 cards he picked.

OK this guy seemed to Genuinely know what he was doing. some people who had their own TV shows got arrested for conning people out of money.

Personally I have been doing Tarot readings for the last 6 months. I am not doing it for money even though several people have made suggestions to do so. I do draw the line on those kind of things. I´ve always been interested in Tarot reading. My friend told me her mum did it. I´m sure some of the women in my grandmother´s village know how to use them. It is not only confined to Gypsies and stuff you see at Carnivals. I am still learning and alot of times I ask my friend who has been doing this for years what she makes of them. I use more than one source to read them.

No seriously, I do readings on my friends,their friends, a situation, you know anything. If they don´t want to know then I won´t push them. I did it on myself the first time. I did one recently on myself as the situations changes. Well I live in Madrid now and although things are a bit tough, they will get better. at the moment I am in a quandry over two jobs. Both have something I can learn from, only one looks good on my CV and the other eventually after a 2 month trial will pay better. example the cards for both are good.

And as far as friends go. I chose one for a friend of mine, well I did a "Celtic Cross" Reading for him and it baiscally told me that he´s a creative person and pretty soon he is going to move on to bigger things even though it may be a bit of s struggle. It also said he had to take a trip or had taken one. This was true.

Some people especially the "Tarot Fakers" will read the card wrong or just tell you something else just to get more money out of who ever it is asking the questions. Just remember this important thing I learned about one card I learned years ago.

Death: this card means change, or that something will come to an end or that you need to end something in order to begin something else. It does not mean that you or anyone else is going to die. So if you get a Tarot reader who tells you that you will die, then they are faking it to take you to the cleaners.

This is what I have learned in 6 months. You can have fun doing these readings, that if you get a troublesome Tarot reading, what it is telling you is the possible ways of changing the situation that you are in whether you want to choose it or not.
The last thing the guy said to the woman I knew was that he could only advise her to find away to make things better for herself and that he could tell that she had this attitude "I´ve made my bed and now I have to lie in it" mentality.

The same person told me that I could do better in my life.

No in all seriousness, You can have fun, you can seek advice and you can choose to interpret the readings, whether you do it yourself or get a good friend to do it.

Actually always get a good friend to help you if you are starting to do these readings.

The Photo here is Strength which means exactly what is says it does. Strength. This is my card.

Monday, 19 May 2008

Morgana and "The Zaragozan"

"Hey isn´t he one of them?" I said to one of my friends last September in the Foyer of the Haagen Dazs theatre in Madrid. Everyone was leaving friends, family, fans, Innocence, Carlos, even some of the dancers had already left, except one.

It was pretty hard not to miss this guy. he´s tall with spikey hair and well a goattee that makes him look quite devilish or like a cheeky Greek God let´s say Pan or Dionysis. I thought the whole dance team were fantastic and remembering that my good friend had her photo taken with 2 of the Dancers back in June 2007, decided to follow her example.

My friend, well, she´s one of my heros. I think she is brilliant She has given me so much advice and so much courage since May.

I told my friends Mia and Vivi, that I wanted a photo with a dancer and I didn´t care who it was. so I walked up to him, waited for him to finish talking to who ever it was, to this day I don´t remember who it was, tapped him on his huge arm and asked "Se puede hacer una foto contigo?" and he said "Si!"

Since then I don´t know hasn´t seen the photo of me and the "Zaragozan" it took me 5 months to find out his name and well even though I said thanks to him after the pic. I Would like to tell him again. I wanted to tell him that he and the other guys were fantastic but the words didn´t come out. I was being squeezed like a Valencian Orange he, he, he.

My friend has dropped hints about him somewhere but I think having a moving photo of him dancing with his ribbon is fairly obvious that he means something even if it was a meeting of a few seconds. More on that soon.

In the meantime I will go somewhere quiet. he he he.

I have 2 favourite people from Zaragoza. My good friend Karol and this guy.

Morgana´s First Musical in Madrid

When I lived in London,I always wanted to go and see a musical, but either neither had the time or couldn´t find anyone to go with. So in my last few months in London, I got the chance to see 2. Mary Poppins and We Will Rock You. But there was 1 musical I wanted to watch when I was younger and when it was showing in the UK. But even more in Madrid. especially because of the lead characters of the musical. Beauty and the Beast.

Beauty and the Beast has always been my favourite story, because it´s about seeing people for who they really are on the inside rather than what they are on the outside and sometimes It´s OK to be different.

I was lucky enough to get as copy of a video someone made of the performance of Beauty of the Beast in Madrid with Carlos Marin a baritone with a voice that is just amazing and who is now makes a quarter of IL DIVO. I was not surprised that he played the role of the beast and even luckier for me this performance also has his lovely bride who also has an outstanding voice Geraldine Larossa also known as Innocence with the role of Belle. She was a temp for 2 months but hey even though the quality of this video isn´t good the sound is fantastic.

I wanted to watch it Live and so when I saw that It was on Teatro Coliseum in Madrid, I thought to myself I have to experience it live.

One day when I was out with my good friend Mia and Silvia , we were looking at the cast and one guy caught my eye. I Knew who he was, I had seen him before 7 months before in the Haagen Dazs theatre in Madrid. I quickly told Mia "Oh My God! Look it's Alex!"

Alex Arce Tula, let me explain is an incredible performer. He was part of the dance team Innocence had on stage at her concerts and in her music video and at her concerts he has a 3 minute stint with his brother Sergio doing an Acrobatic routine which was incredible. You were liturally left thinking to yourself "How the heck are hey doing that?" That aside Mia and I were curious to see what role Alex had in the musical.

Later that day we took the decision to get the cheapest tickets on offer and watch the show. And it was well the best decision we ever made. It was different to the casting of 2000 obviously, perhaps they had to change it on the grounds that no one broke a leg liturally. We were scanning through the programme and looking at the profiles of the characters and caught the making of the musical on the screens. pointing out to Alex everytime we saw him and Raul Peña who we met after Innocence´s first concert. I didn´t know who he was but my friend Vivi almost passed out at seeing him. Raul is a funny guy, what made us laugh was his transformation into the character Lefou.

OK the show was incredible. the experience of watching it, energy the singing. Sorry it is so hard not to compare the Beast of now David Ordinas who also has an amazing voice to when Carlos when he was the beast. I mean no one has that rumble in their voice when they sing or can say the comment "Entonces Muere De haaaaaaaaaambbre!" like carlos does but hey I liked David but my faves were Pablo Puyol who plays Gaston, he was outstanding, I liked him... Lefou of course played by Raul Peña who I Can understand why my friend likes him. Lumiere played bt Armando Pita and of course Alex who had two roles Felpudo where he had to sing as well as act and dance and let me tell you he has a big voice for a little guy, incredible and even more incredible was his other role. He was a carpet.

Now we were sitting very far from the stage but we could tell it was him when he was doing the back flips and leaping. Anyone who has seen Innocence in Concert when She´s singing Naturaleza Muerta towards the end can see Alex leap over well another dancer. infact when I was visiting my friend Vivien in Oxford who also has a copy of the Beauty and the Beast with Carlos and Geraldine I made a comment about the guy playing the carpet by saying Alex would make a great carpet. By then I had forgotten he was in this years' production.

Of course for me there was tears. The show proved to be emotional for me, epscially the part where Belle and the Beast are reading in the Library and she tells him that people think she´s strange because she is different. Something that rang a bell with me. I waslucky I had Mia with me at the time and we did laugh when Belle was reading the story of King Authur because we have both read The Mists Of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley.

Julia Moller plays Belle beautifully, and the scene in the Tavern with Gaston, Lefou, Alex and everyone else looked like so much fun, we wanted to join in too.

After the show, it was raining cats and dogs but, we wanted to meet Alex and tell him he was great. we waited for a while and one by one the production left the artists door. we must have looked a little bit nuts, 2 women under an unbrella la la la-ing until we saw a little guy run out. It was Alex, I called him over and well we were talking to him. he is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet and he said he remembered us from September 2007. OK I was starting to blush and I was a little nervous around him but he was lovely. I told him that he had a 14 year old fan in Holland who loves him and if he could sign a programme for her and also one for my friend Virginie who he remembers very well. we got chatting and we told him he was great as the character he was in the musical and in September. I chickened out from asking him something else so instead I asked him how his brother was. We took photos and my fave one is of the 3 of us together, me, him and Mia which you can see. After saying our goodbyes we went home.

My nick name for both him and His brother is Dulce De Leche, for the obvious.... Although I haven´t met Sergio, his face says he´s very sweet too and yes they are Argentine as well other wise i´d call them something else.

Of all the musicals in Madrid I wanted to see first, La Bella Y la Bestia wins everytime. I would reccomend it to anyone to go and watch it. If you want magic, if you want romance, if you want fun and energy, watch this show.

Sunday, 18 May 2008

Morgana and "El Salvador"

The last time I came to Madrid,I was there for the weekend. It was to watch Innocence in concert. The chance to see this amazing singer in concert was too good to miss and the fact that she was going to sing a Spanish Version of "Who wants to Live Forever" with her Husband Carlos Marin was a bonus and Well I couldn´t wait.

Never mind that there were some people who thought I was only going there for Carlos, the same people who have not got a clue about the concept of being a fan of an artist for their voice and not cuz they might look good with their kit off. and Besides as I Said when I went to the making of Innocence´s Video "The Show Must Go On" and the presentation of the video 5 weeks later, It was about Innocenceand those who choose to think otherwise need to take a good look at themselves.

OK that aside while I was there in Madrid at both concerts I had the good fortune to experience alot of things that I would never have imagined in my dreams.

It was there I met him. A man, Tall, olive skin, dark hair with beautiful brown chocolate eyes with long eye lashes to match, eye brows that beautifully sculpted the frame of his eyes. He had this energy about him that I have not been able to shake off since meeting him.

We posed for a photo and in those 5 seconds we posed for a photo, he gave me such a tight hug that I was on the verge of passing out. He had strong arms so He could keep me on me feet.The energy around him was almost intoxicating. He was bursting with energy and that smile was Oh my god.

Since then He has become a muse for me, the type of profession he does is something I have always had respect for and watching him in action was totally amazing.

He has something about him when I see him and for now this is just the surface of the last few months of observation of a man who is truly bewitching as an Egyptian Pharoah.

A man I barely know much about other than his, name his profession and where in Spain he is from.

But soon I will find out more.

Putting my "Faith" of friendship with Freddie

Freddie is a person I am still learning alot about. Some people seem to think they know him well, I Honestly have no Idea why. I believe that you don´t know everything about a person. Sometimes I refer to him as "Faith" because he´s Italo Argentine and of course the first four letters of his name in Italian means "Faith" in Italian. writng a blog about him means that he does have some importance in my life.

The story of the first time I ever knew about Freddie is one that has happened to alot of people. My friend Bless her works with him and thought we´d be a good match, because he´s half Italian, he´s studying to be an actor.Well she told me all types of things and I was not interested in meeting him. Then 1 weekend we were going to go out for a drink and she decided to invite a "friend" too but she said she was inviting him for her. Well she didn´t tell me who he was.

That was when I met Freddie. It surprised the hell out of me when he said "Ahh so this is the friend you were talking about." I wondered how many other of my friend´s male friends knew about me. But I didn´t feel uncomfortable around him. Only before when I felt like I was going to the gallows. This uncertainty in the pit of my stomach. Finally I found out where he was from when he showed me his passport.

The blind date of course back fired on my friend. she left us alone a couple of times only to come back disappointed because we were not locking lips or what ever. Just flirting. There was something about this guy that I like and he feels the same way about me but it´s not like we want to get involved with each other in that way. Everytime I see him, he makes me smile, he makes me cry with laughter with his sense of humour that sometimes can be taken the wrong way and with all men with latin blood he is the biggest flirt in flirtsville.

The biggest challenge that faces us right now is the person who introduced us in the first place. Our friend,who is also his co worker and my flat mate. One minute she´s trying to get us together and asking if we fancy each other, then she´s using every trick in the book to do the opposite.

Truth be told, I have been very clear with Freddie since the get go. We did go through this one phase when I wanted to kick his arse for something he said which hurt my feelings. luckly he saw that and made ammends. But since then, every time that passes and I get to know him, I realise he´s a great person to be friends with and we have a lot of things in common. I can talk to him about energies, theatres, and magic which he pretends he doesn´t believe in but anyone who has a tattoo of a dolphin on his ankle says otherwise. I never said for a moment that he is not important to me. He is as a friend and my feelings for him are those for a friend. We are not in love with each other.

Freddie once told my friend what I represent for him as a person. He said I bring him peace in his life and that I am an angel for him. It took me weeks to figure this out but Freddie for me does the same. He also brings me peace, and trust. Trust that since coming to Madrid, he´s the only guy who sees me as who I am and not everyone is after a place in my underwear. He makes me smile. who wouldn´t he´s cute and sure he´s a flirt, he´s Italo Argentine, that´s like Tiramisu with the top layer completely covered in Dulce De Leche. Imagine how lethal that is in a man and yes I blush but I told him I am not falling for those charms. Freddie reminds me of My best friend in London Tony with the playfulness of Alex. Emotionally we could learn alot from each other things but anything else is platonic.

With Freddie, this is a friendship that needs to be structured without any outside influence and we need to do it ourselves. And every chance we get is fundamental. I have the means and the tools and so does he. Messengers are banned because in the end when it comes to the point that there is a go between we might end up killing the messenger.

My friend once asked me... what happens if well..... Suddenly one of us decided to kiss the other. My answer was one of us would probably say "What the hell do you think you´re doing?" but if something was going to happen it would have in the begining.

Saturday, 17 May 2008

Morgana and her Muses.

I write poetry and I have been for many months now.. These ones are about one of my muses. A guy who I met in September 2007 in Madrid. he has inspired me to do many things and well soon I will tell you about him.

Tormented into Salvation

I know what it means

It's to Save man and Woman Kind

But you saved me too

And now I've lost my mind.

The energy was almost intoxicating

And I can still feel it right now.

There were messages to be read

And I didn't know how.

That smile is seductive

I felt like I was under arrest

But when you gave me that stare

I may have been blessed.

There might be something spritual

You don't look like an Innocent man,

You were having so much fun

You reminded me of Pan.

Those eyes made me forget

At first What I was doing there.

That smile and that scent

Was almost too much to bare.

It's not about being an apostle

It's about following my own way

But you were there to tell me something,

Salvation is the way.

Someone have mercy

I know I've got far to go,

Tu es un Milagro, un Hallelujah,

That was all i needed to know.

Salvame un otra Vez:

No se quien tu es,

Y De donde eres,

Yo Se solo que cuando yo te visto,

tu hablaba con otra medios,

Lo se el sinificante de tu nombre,

es "el señor ahorrará"

pero nunca por salvarme

de tu Sonrisa de diabolico.

Tu no utilizó tan muchos parablas para hablar

pero cuando tu movió a cada pulgada de tu cuerpo

eres una idioma nuevo que quiero mucho intende

Tu fuerza es increíble

no puedo negarlo todo podemos verlo

pero es lo que veo en el interior,

Y que siento tambien,

Esepera un Abrazzo

como la noche de nuestro segundo encuentro.

con la fuertezza y magia,

que ahora no me dia paz

Corona Oscura: Dark Crown

He has a dark Crown,
That anyone can see,
Of spikes made of sugar,
tall and strong as he,

The silver lines sparkle,
And dazzle like his smile,
Makes me often wonder
why it took me a while.

by day the crown disappears,
and curls emerge instead,
But by night it reappears,
the Dark crown on his head.

miro la cara diabolica
y no puedo hace paz,
cuando tiene su sonrisa
y la esperanza de verlo mas,

Tiene un ritmo,
Que te enfrenta cara a cara,
Todo dice que tiene un poder
tambien su Corona Oscura,

The months will pass,
Leather, Black, Cedared or white gown,
he will emerge once more
With the dark crown.

Morgana speaks to me in Madrid.

I love Magic.

We are not talking about the abracadabra kind. I am talkning about the stuff from King Authur´s time, Fairies, witches, legends Gods and Goddesses from Native American folklaw, Celts, Druids and the list is endless. Reading The Mists Of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley was what pushed me over the edge. So when I found the "Oracle of the Goddess" one day while browsing in a mystic library in Madrid, It was not surprising that it tickled my fancy. And I must say it´s been a great investment.

I do readings with these cards on anyone. they are different to tarot reading as most of the time you only need to choose 1 card and it tells you the answer when you look in the book that comes with it. Usually the question I ask is what kind of Goddess represents a person and another card for what they can teach us.

The card I get all the time is Morgana or Morgaine La Fey...

Well read on.

Morgana (Morgaine La Fey)

Morgana is a triple goddess of Death and Rebirth of Celtic belief. She appears as a beautiful maiden, a powerful mother and a scary witch. She was also sea Goddess; her name “Mor” means “Sea” in Celtic her other name “La Fey” has two meanings “The Fairy “ or “The destiny”. According to Arthurian legend, she was the half sister of King Arthur. Some say that it was her who manipulated Morded, the son she had with Arthur , to kill his own father. When Arturo died Morgaine came to his aid and took him to the magical island of Avalon, to cure him of his wounds and then placed him in a deep sleep of which he will wake up when the moment arrives.

Morgaine dances into your life with her tambourines and her magic to invite you to discover and live your rhythms. What are your personal rhythms? Do you know when is the right time for you to wake up, to sleep, to excerise, to eat to create to make love, to work? Or do you waste your energies adjusting your rhythms because of restrictions of work.. or do your family, partner or friends restrict you. Are you so submerged into someone else´s life that you are living their rhythms instead of yours Perhaps you have never discovered your own rhythms and are just pleasing others and are following the current.

But it is important for you to live according to your own rhythms. Flowing with you rhythms will giveyou a lot of energy, because you will no longer be suppressing what is natural in you. Morgaine la Fey says that the vitality, the health and the totality are nourished when you flow with your own and singular rhythm instead of that of others.

And I am not the only one. Some important people who are in my life right now, I have taken this card for. I am coming to grips with following my rhythm but somtimes it is not so easy. But I am not going to fall into the trap of following the rhythms that are not my own.

Morgana´s Last Few Hours in London.

The last few hours was a true test. Everything was packed, my flight was in a few hours and in 48 hours I was going to celebrate my birthday in a place where I´ve always felt my home.

I barely slept the last 3 and a half hours. Suddenly the bed I´d slept in, over the last 5 years in the home where I lived with my family for almost 22, was less than comfortable. I spent the last few hours there thinking. Thinking of what the next few hours was going to hold for me. It was full of excitement but at the same time fear. Fear of being stopped from embarking on this life changing experience. I thought what would happen at 4 am when I was lugging my suitcase down the stairs with the remains of my life belongings and suddenly being stopped by my father and being asked why was I still going to Spain, then quite possible using every tactic in the book to talk me into staying in London. Just as my brother tried doing hours before.

Well the last few hours was spent in a relaxed mood. I went to visit my friend Norma and had my last meal in the UK which was a traditional Fish and Chips. OK I have to admit I have better but since it was my last meal in the UK I was not going to complain. Then I went to visit my great aunt and then shopping in Camden town. I found some novelty "Jesus" T´shirts which made me giggle.
Then I went to visit my mother in hospital which poor thing was holed up there for the last 5 days. During Easter too, bless her. She knew I was going to Spain and even told me to go, but her mood changed. This was when the emotional blackmail started. Not from her because she knew that once I have some thing in my head I was not going to Change my mind. That was when my brother stepped in.

Now if you think about it, it was the biggest excuse in the book to get me to stay in London. Mum was in hospital. She was there due to an illness we thought she had at the time, but it was not life threatening. She was in good hands and if anyone was even listening to both me and the medical team it was a managable illness. But as usual, in our family, the medical stuff has to be dealt with by yours truly.

Well my brother, despite the fact that I am older than he is, was trying to act responsible. Most of the time he acts like a complete arse and then thinks he can give me orders on the grounds that he bought the house we were living in and he has a job working as an office drone. Telling me God only knows how many times that we had to stick together because we were a family. Family? since when did we become West London´s answer to "The Mitchells"? Since when did it become mandatory to drop everything just because of family. Let´s face it both side of our family are not exactly close. Everyone is out to back stab each other and now My brother was trying to use this excuse. If it were my father using emotional blackmail, he´d use the fact that me and my mother almost died twice. the first time she was miscarrying me and the second was when she was giving birth.

It wasn´t like I didn´t care about my mum. It was because I cared about her I was doing this. I had been planning this for weeks. Actually come to think of it years. I just needed to a push. I was planning an escape Wentworth Miller´s character Michael Schofield in "Prison Break" would be proud of.

Oh and then there was another excuse which was priceless "We are an Italian Family" Christ it was even worse than the first one. That might be alright for some people who don´t have a problem with their parents and their friends meddle with their affairs, but i am not a steriotype and I am not about to let people run my life. It was the same excuse my father used when I was seventeen.The truth was that I hated having to use that as an excuse of why I was still living with them.

The last 5 months before my departure became an emotional journey for me. When I left Madrid in September 2007 my heart sank, like it always did, but I had a feeling I would be back, and this time for longer. I looked back at the things I discovered and rediscovered about myself and decided that I was going to Follow my heart. My gut feeling was to plan for Madrid after everyone had gone to sleep. There was only one way I knew I could go out there in Madrid and live in peace. Not tell anyone in my family I was going out there for good. Not even my friends, only a few close ones. Once I made the mistake of confiding in someone whose parents knew mine a very long time ago. Never again.

OK here´s the deal. I have always known that I was different from everyone else. They don´t seem to understand that for me finding my path has been difficult, sometimes restricted because I have never have the freedom to express myself and past experiences have left me, well cautious. I need to do this on my own, and perhaps the circumstances have been less appealing. It took failing my second year at University and the betrayal of my boyfriend of 6 years to make me finally see that I had to open my eyes to things that were waiting for me. And there was no way I was moving back to Italy or moving in with a person who hasn´t yet clocked on that he is turning into my father.

I was getting tired of having to listen to the constant arguing in what was a melting pot in a sess pool of a town where I was day by day losing my mind. constantly being reminded that I am getting to a certain age where by now I should have settled down with a job. a family, a home. This to me is all aload of rubbish because there is no time limit on when you should settle down. It was time to go.

The whole time when I was getting out of the house, my heart was pounding. I almost hurdled down the stairs with my suitcase and at the same time imagining the newspaper headlines of the Southall Gazette "Woman Breaks Neck In Escape Attempt" I was shaking like a leaf. Luckily My father had gone to work and my brother was asleep. I had to talk out of the house with no shoes on and carry my boots in my hand. That point I didn´t care, in 6 hours I was going to be in Madrid. Nervously the driver helped me load my belongings and drove me to heathrow where I caught the bus to Gatwick.

In the 3 hours from getting on the plane and arriving to Madrid, there was a mixture of excitement and fear. I wanted to make sure I was physically there in Madrid before I could sing victory. The greatest feeling was arriving at Barajas Airport arrival´s lounge with my belongongs, being greeted by my friend Mia who was there in Madrid to support me . I knew then I was not dreaming. in 24 hours I would celebrate my 29th birthday, but that day would also be a birth of a new me.

This is my story....

This is my life
Living Madrid.