Friday, 26 May 2017

Stop telling us how we feel!

Namaste guys what's shaking?

In light of Manchester Terror attack on Tuesday, I've decided to shed light on a topic which people don't shed any light on at all.

No it's not about the attack itself , it's about how people react to it.

Personally the image of the 8 year old girl who died as a result of the attack got me in floods of tears. Naturally I would respond to the news in that way because I'm a mother and the thought of someone losing their child in that horrible fashion strikes a cord.

Which is why I don't want to watch the news..

Remember the guy who was carrying his twins who died as a result to the chemical attack in Sarin? I thought they were a sleep.

Stupid innocent me.

When I realised they weren't , I was heart broken.

People cry. It's a natural human mechanism . We cry , when we're scared, sad, angry and even happy. It's a normal thing.

When babies cry , yes it's for attention but it'a because they can't speak ! They're not doing it because they want to manipulate you into getting their way..

When my daughter was a baby , she cried because she wanted a cuddle. So I'd pick her up and then I would get the same dumb assed quote from people who had kids mostly the older generation that I was spoiling her!

4 years later , I ask my daughter why does she want hugs and she said because she feels better afterwards.

Now I am sick of people telling us that we need to stop crying for things we see or read on the news. I'm fed up of hearing how our kids are told to stop crying when they're genuinely upset about something as if their feelings don't matter.

I cannot stand it when I hear someone say that crying is a form of weakness.

I've even been accused of handing down "illness" of crying to my daughter because I cried during my pregnancy.

That last part clearly showed that no matter how hard you try , you cannot fix stupid. And I don't care if you call me out on this quote.

We were taught to hide our feelings as it showed weakness. Well those lessons are now meaningless because I want my daughter to tell me if something is wrong.

I hear "how come I never cry?"

Maybe because you happen to be someone who was raised to be a fucking feelingless android?

Telling us to not cry how and when we need to feel Is damaging to our health.

One example of people telling me that I need to feel a certain way is the times I've miscarried.

It's like "yeah it happened move on!"

I'm not allowed to mourn my babies because it makes people uncomfortable. I've had days where I was absolutely fine and then I'd have others where I just cried for am hour.

Yes it's true that it didn't bring any of my babies back, but the release made me feel a bit better.

So was talking to someone professional who didn't know my story.

My constant battle is making people aware that crying is a normal thing and believing that it'a an illness that can be cured is as stupid as saying there's a cure for gay people.

My final thought. You wanna cry? Do it! Even if it's for no reason! You're your own boss of your feelings.

With that said, namaste till the next time.

Monday, 22 May 2017

Too weird even for me!

Namaste guys what's shaking?

With the in laws in town, there are a few things that I need to take into consideration.

Don't get me wrong , I'm still myself , just in a subtle way. When My Father in Law suggested that we attend church yesterday evening because I I worked during the day , my first instinct was to say no or make something up about not going but to be fair, this is the guy who has always stuck up for me every time my partner's ex wife has been a pain in the ass and when my own partner needs a smack around the head.

My answer was "ok, let's go!"

My daughter's reaction was "yay! We're going to church!"

What can I say?

We arrived , David managed to use the "I can't go because I need to rest for my night shift! " card and I ended up going with my daughter who had to go to "Sunday" school which she said she enjoyed.

It's all fun and games until they start teaching the kids about fire and brimstone and if you do bad things you can always blame the mythical scapegoat instead of holding yourself accountable.

Moving on , it starts with the signing the praises and my father in law dressed in his best suit and his big assed bible singing along.

And praising.. did I mention he was a preacher. ..

The usual happens later, a verse from the bible and a special guest. In this case a Christian female singer and later a Mexican preacher with a big church in Dallas (where else!)

Then comes the part that is always the same every time I go to this church. The Preacher's wife who is also a preacher says the same speech which is "this church is a church of progress and prosperity ... how many of you think that? " people say amen and then she talks about how the church needs to be upgraded to move with the times.. she's asking for money.

And people are willing enough to tithe or give an offering or the first pay check of the month. Because it says so in the Bible.

In case you're wondering what a Tithe is, it's when you give 10 percent of your earnings to the church.

My brother in law was having a bit of fun with me by handing me an envelope and telling me "give me your tithe and I'll hold on to it for you till next week!"

I smiled a bit.

Then this Mexican preacher gave us a sermon about how we have to tithe because it's bad for us to have so much money and we can't take it with us when we die and can't go into heaven. He used different wording but I got the message loud and clear.

I'm broke as it is right now and even if I wasn't, I'm not falling for this shit.

But it got me thinking about doing something to help my business grow with regards to baking.

More on that another time.

This guy dragged on and I was wondering what time was I going to take my daughter home to feed her dinner and every one else was wondering when they were going to leave to watch the rest of the match that determined who own the Spanish League. (REAL MADRID!)

I was glad to be home with a cup of tea and my daughter fed, changed with homework done and sleeping.

The weird part of the evening was about to start.

I have a side hustle which involves selling stuff that we don't use or need anymore and I advertise my bakery business.

I got a message from a guy who said he wanted to buy a pair of shoes I was selling.

I thought great , he's either buying them for a spouse or girl friend or it was the girl friend or spouse using the guy's account.

Here's where it gets weird, he then asks me if I know someone who would like to go swimming with him for free and then proceeds to tell me that he has a fetish of feet and legs which I thought ok, I won't judge whatever floats your boat as long as you're buying my shoes.

Then he insists that I go with him swimming and that's when I tell him that he's made a mistake and I'm not interested. He tells me thanks and stops bothering me.

WTF? No really?

I don't know which is more disturbing. Going to church and watching how all these people stupidly chant and sing like zombies and hand over the money they need to survive or this guy.

With that said and done, Namaste till next time.

Sunday, 21 May 2017

My plans for more blog pages.

Namaste guys! It's Sunday and I'm back for another instalment of Morgana in Madrid.

Yesterday after my brief return introduction of where my life is at right now I mentioned two new blogs which I will be introducing. Morgana's world , which will be about me reviewing bars, restaurants and other places to go .

Yes I will be posting videos and pictures as well. The videos will probably be from my you tube channel also called Morgana's world.

I'm also going to be critiquing some food, Because let's face it, food is important and if like it enough, I will make a similar version on my other channel "Morgana's Kitchen"

Morgana's Kitchen is pretty much going to be about food. I've become pretty handy at baking and learned some tricks on the way. I will post some of my recent creations , including the really challenging ones.

I already have a facebook page called "Jasmine's Cakes" which I will add the link at the end of this blog.

Why so many projects and what's with the Side Hustling? I'll tell you.

A lot of people think that I'm in Madrid and I'm having the best time of my life with a high end paying job.

That can only get you so far when you've got a family and bills and you don't want your partner to keep bailing you out financially. (don't ask!)

I can't wait to get started. Currently I am almost broke but that's going to change, because once I get out there more and stop being a chicken , the world is my oyster.

That goes for anyone else who is wondering if they have something that they can offer the world. You have! Don't be afraid.

With that said , Namaste til the next time!

Saturday, 20 May 2017

Namaste guys, I'm back!

Namaste guys, I'm back after a long break from blogging.

With everything going on I've decided to be myself more than ever because who wants to keep pretending to be something they're not? I certainly don't.

I've spent the last few years wondering what the heck happened to all my plans of going to live in a new city and bbeing the person I've always wanted to be but couldn't back home.

I moved to Madrid on March 26th 2008, 24 hours before my 29th birthday. I was moving in with a friend who turned out to have issues with everyone, including herself. My best friend was out there to give me moral support and has been continuing to do so since then.

More than 3 months later I moved out and lived on my own in Goya. By then I had found a job which I'm still in to this day but will leave .

Things didn't work out. I'm not a party girl, I don't do clubs and I don't appreciate being pimped to people and expect to show reverence because you did me a favour which I have always shown gratitude.

Moving on, I found some of the best places to go to in Madrid , and I'm still looking because there are more places to check out apart from night clubs and go bar crawling.

In case I haven't mentioned it before, I love food, I love historical places and I love music.

I don't care if Bono from U2, liked to go drinking in this Popular Irish Pub in the Centre of Madrid. I mean it's cool, but one of the two times I was there, just as we were leaving (the ex flat mate from my first place in Madrid)
this guy walked in and we just stared at each other like "hey do I know you! " and I thought I'm pretty sure he's a dancer. 5 months later, there he was on stage. 1 year later , I looked at a charity calender I bought in Madrid in 2007 with naked artists and there he was!

And do not get me started with my love affair with the restaurant VIPS.

I met this guy who I'm still with now despite all the ups and downs . He's not perfect and he's got some issues that he needs to deal with concerning beliefs and education but hey he makes an awesome ceviche and is handy with a sewing kit!

I became a mum to a little girl who's Now 4 years old and is into those silly toy review videos on you tube so much that she wants me to "call" Ryan's mum and ask her if he's allowed to come over and play.

It's hysterical because she comes out with funny things and she does drive me nuts by waking me at 2 am for milk and the twinkle twinkle little star song and she will tell you off if you cross the road when the little red man is still flashing!

why am I back you are asking?

Because it's time I do something constructive with my blog and a you tube account that I haven't done anything besides post comments and look up videos.

I came here to Madrid 9 years ago because I wanted to make a difference ce in my life and enlighten others through blogging and go to all the cool places in Madrid and review a ton of stuff.

Well that is what I'm going to do and more.

Morgana's World and Morgana's Kitchen.

Till then, Namaste til the next time!