Stop telling us how we feel!

Namaste guys what's shaking?

In light of Manchester Terror attack on Tuesday, I've decided to shed light on a topic which people don't shed any light on at all.

No it's not about the attack itself , it's about how people react to it.

Personally the image of the 8 year old girl who died as a result of the attack got me in floods of tears. Naturally I would respond to the news in that way because I'm a mother and the thought of someone losing their child in that horrible fashion strikes a cord.

Which is why I don't want to watch the news..

Remember the guy who was carrying his twins who died as a result to the chemical attack in Sarin? I thought they were a sleep.

Stupid innocent me.

When I realised they weren't , I was heart broken.

People cry. It's a natural human mechanism . We cry , when we're scared, sad, angry and even happy. It's a normal thing.

When babies cry , yes it's for attention but it'a because they can't speak ! They're not doing it because they want to manipulate you into getting their way..

When my daughter was a baby , she cried because she wanted a cuddle. So I'd pick her up and then I would get the same dumb assed quote from people who had kids mostly the older generation that I was spoiling her!

4 years later , I ask my daughter why does she want hugs and she said because she feels better afterwards.

Now I am sick of people telling us that we need to stop crying for things we see or read on the news. I'm fed up of hearing how our kids are told to stop crying when they're genuinely upset about something as if their feelings don't matter.

I cannot stand it when I hear someone say that crying is a form of weakness.

I've even been accused of handing down "illness" of crying to my daughter because I cried during my pregnancy.

That last part clearly showed that no matter how hard you try , you cannot fix stupid. And I don't care if you call me out on this quote.

We were taught to hide our feelings as it showed weakness. Well those lessons are now meaningless because I want my daughter to tell me if something is wrong.

I hear "how come I never cry?"

Maybe because you happen to be someone who was raised to be a fucking feelingless android?

Telling us to not cry how and when we need to feel Is damaging to our health.

One example of people telling me that I need to feel a certain way is the times I've miscarried.

It's like "yeah it happened move on!"

I'm not allowed to mourn my babies because it makes people uncomfortable. I've had days where I was absolutely fine and then I'd have others where I just cried for am hour.

Yes it's true that it didn't bring any of my babies back, but the release made me feel a bit better.

So was talking to someone professional who didn't know my story.

My constant battle is making people aware that crying is a normal thing and believing that it'a an illness that can be cured is as stupid as saying there's a cure for gay people.

My final thought. You wanna cry? Do it! Even if it's for no reason! You're your own boss of your feelings.

With that said, namaste till the next time.

Too weird even for me!

Namaste guys what's shaking?

With the in laws in town, there are a few things that I need to take into consideration.

Don't get me wrong , I'm still myself , just in a subtle way. When My Father in Law suggested that we attend church yesterday evening because I I worked during the day , my first instinct was to say no or make something up about not going but to be fair, this is the guy who has always stuck up for me every time my partner's ex wife has been a pain in the ass and when my own partner needs a smack around the head.

My answer was "ok, let's go!"

My daughter's reaction was "yay! We're going to church!"

What can I say?

We arrived , David managed to use the "I can't go because I need to rest for my night shift! " card and I ended up going with my daughter who had to go to "Sunday" school which she said she enjoyed.

It's all fun and games until they start teaching the kids about fire and brimstone and if you do bad things you can always blame the mythical scapegoat instead of holding yourself accountable.

Moving on , it starts with the signing the praises and my father in law dressed in his best suit and his big assed bible singing along.

And praising.. did I mention he was a preacher. ..

The usual happens later, a verse from the bible and a special guest. In this case a Christian female singer and later a Mexican preacher with a big church in Dallas (where else!)

Then comes the part that is always the same every time I go to this church. The Preacher's wife who is also a preacher says the same speech which is "this church is a church of progress and prosperity ... how many of you think that? " people say amen and then she talks about how the church needs to be upgraded to move with the times.. she's asking for money.

And people are willing enough to tithe or give an offering or the first pay check of the month. Because it says so in the Bible.

In case you're wondering what a Tithe is, it's when you give 10 percent of your earnings to the church.

My brother in law was having a bit of fun with me by handing me an envelope and telling me "give me your tithe and I'll hold on to it for you till next week!"

I smiled a bit.

Then this Mexican preacher gave us a sermon about how we have to tithe because it's bad for us to have so much money and we can't take it with us when we die and can't go into heaven. He used different wording but I got the message loud and clear.

I'm broke as it is right now and even if I wasn't, I'm not falling for this shit.

But it got me thinking about doing something to help my business grow with regards to baking.

More on that another time.

This guy dragged on and I was wondering what time was I going to take my daughter home to feed her dinner and every one else was wondering when they were going to leave to watch the rest of the match that determined who own the Spanish League. (REAL MADRID!)

I was glad to be home with a cup of tea and my daughter fed, changed with homework done and sleeping.

The weird part of the evening was about to start.

I have a side hustle which involves selling stuff that we don't use or need anymore and I advertise my bakery business.

I got a message from a guy who said he wanted to buy a pair of shoes I was selling.

I thought great , he's either buying them for a spouse or girl friend or it was the girl friend or spouse using the guy's account.

Here's where it gets weird, he then asks me if I know someone who would like to go swimming with him for free and then proceeds to tell me that he has a fetish of feet and legs which I thought ok, I won't judge whatever floats your boat as long as you're buying my shoes.

Then he insists that I go with him swimming and that's when I tell him that he's made a mistake and I'm not interested. He tells me thanks and stops bothering me.

WTF? No really?

I don't know which is more disturbing. Going to church and watching how all these people stupidly chant and sing like zombies and hand over the money they need to survive or this guy.

With that said and done, Namaste till next time.

My plans for more blog pages.

Namaste guys! It's Sunday and I'm back for another instalment of Morgana in Madrid.

Yesterday after my brief return introduction of where my life is at right now I mentioned two new blogs which I will be introducing. Morgana's world , which will be about me reviewing bars, restaurants and other places to go .

Yes I will be posting videos and pictures as well. The videos will probably be from my you tube channel also called Morgana's world.

I'm also going to be critiquing some food, Because let's face it, food is important and if like it enough, I will make a similar version on my other channel "Morgana's Kitchen"

Morgana's Kitchen is pretty much going to be about food. I've become pretty handy at baking and learned some tricks on the way. I will post some of my recent creations , including the really challenging ones.

I already have a facebook page called "Jasmine's Cakes" which I will add the link at the end of this blog.

Why so many projects and what's with the Side Hustling? I'll tell you.

A lot of people think that I'm in Madrid and I'm having the best time of my life with a high end paying job.

That can only get you so far when you've got a family and bills and you don't want your partner to keep bailing you out financially. (don't ask!)

I can't wait to get started. Currently I am almost broke but that's going to change, because once I get out there more and stop being a chicken , the world is my oyster.

That goes for anyone else who is wondering if they have something that they can offer the world. You have! Don't be afraid.

With that said , Namaste til the next time!

Namaste guys, I'm back!

Namaste guys, I'm back after a long break from blogging.

With everything going on I've decided to be myself more than ever because who wants to keep pretending to be something they're not? I certainly don't.

I've spent the last few years wondering what the heck happened to all my plans of going to live in a new city and bbeing the person I've always wanted to be but couldn't back home.

I moved to Madrid on March 26th 2008, 24 hours before my 29th birthday. I was moving in with a friend who turned out to have issues with everyone, including herself. My best friend was out there to give me moral support and has been continuing to do so since then.

More than 3 months later I moved out and lived on my own in Goya. By then I had found a job which I'm still in to this day but will leave .

Things didn't work out. I'm not a party girl, I don't do clubs and I don't appreciate being pimped to people and expect to show reverence because you did me a favour which I have always shown gratitude.

Moving on, I found some of the best places to go to in Madrid , and I'm still looking because there are more places to check out apart from night clubs and go bar crawling.

In case I haven't mentioned it before, I love food, I love historical places and I love music.

I don't care if Bono from U2, liked to go drinking in this Popular Irish Pub in the Centre of Madrid. I mean it's cool, but one of the two times I was there, just as we were leaving (the ex flat mate from my first place in Madrid)
this guy walked in and we just stared at each other like "hey do I know you! " and I thought I'm pretty sure he's a dancer. 5 months later, there he was on stage. 1 year later , I looked at a charity calender I bought in Madrid in 2007 with naked artists and there he was!

And do not get me started with my love affair with the restaurant VIPS.

I met this guy who I'm still with now despite all the ups and downs . He's not perfect and he's got some issues that he needs to deal with concerning beliefs and education but hey he makes an awesome ceviche and is handy with a sewing kit!

I became a mum to a little girl who's Now 4 years old and is into those silly toy review videos on you tube so much that she wants me to "call" Ryan's mum and ask her if he's allowed to come over and play.

It's hysterical because she comes out with funny things and she does drive me nuts by waking me at 2 am for milk and the twinkle twinkle little star song and she will tell you off if you cross the road when the little red man is still flashing!

why am I back you are asking?

Because it's time I do something constructive with my blog and a you tube account that I haven't done anything besides post comments and look up videos.

I came here to Madrid 9 years ago because I wanted to make a difference ce in my life and enlighten others through blogging and go to all the cool places in Madrid and review a ton of stuff.


Well that is what I'm going to do and more.

Morgana's World and Morgana's Kitchen.

Till then, Namaste til the next time!

You think the Walking Dead Zombies are scary? You should read this.

I didn´t even think I would write this on here because I was respecting someone´s right to express their beliefs but even this is too creepy for me.

just like Rick Grimes I enter a place where it seems cool but ít turnns out to be darn scary. Now thinking back, I´d rather teach my daughter common sense and how to think like divine human being without the fear of guilt instead of spendind the next 22 years of her life feeling unhappy and with a lot of questions.

I was a bit pissed off when I discovered that some guy from David´s christian church decided to speak to him alone pointing him out that his "way of living" is "wrong" and he needs to make some choices. one of them was not sleeping with his partner. in other words me.

Oh God another "sex police" wannabe. there is nothing wrong with sex.. I doubt it was created just for procreating.

he isn´t the first person to get on my nerves.

I had a dream that warned me about my new friend and her family. needless to say since my birtday I have no heard from them since.

don´t get me wrong. I am grateful for the help these people gave to my daughter and myself but when I´m around these guys I can´´t be me. I have to listen to things that I can´t be bothered to listen to.

I´ll go by parts shall i? I found out later that they were christians then I discovered even later maybe too late that they´re a little hard core for my taste. some of the things they suggested for example removing what ever I have with "Hello Kitty" belonging to my daughter because it could slow down her process to speak was a bit of nonsense.

the older of her two boys is experimenting with some phrases and he came out with a comment which surprised me. what surprised me more was his mother telling me that children are born with evil. that was enough for me.

Their church they go to is even more extreme but I smell set up from the get to. now I have seen things like fainting, crying and so called "speaking in tongues" in other places, but this was going on every few minutes not to mention poeple screaming hysterically! and I don´t know what this reverend was trying to do with his staring though a little intimiating was no match for me. don´t have a staring contest with me. i invented that!

Valerie was a bit calm at first but after a few hours and then listening to the trumpet loudly, she began to feel uncomfortable and wailed.
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Since then Í´ve listened to this poor boy tell me that my tattooes are bad, Monster High is bad.... and so forth.

There was me happy that i´d finally met a friend to talk to with a baby and now I wish that after the 3rd encounter I should have stayed at home.

Oh these people are really clever in opening th draw full of "shit" so you can feel vulnerable and sad so they can "save you" but once you tried to be you again they try to pu you down again.

My last encounter which annoyed me was when we were celebrating my sister in law´s birthday and some chick starts running her mouth by saying she saw me in a bar in Madrid the weekend before with Valerie. I said no it wasn´t me so she changed it to someone who looks like me. Luckily David believed me because we were at home around the time she claimed she saw me.

one of the 10 commandments is about not bearing false witness. christians my foot.

I am happy to go along and pretend I consent to my daughter to follow this hype but I refuse for her to be taught lies and stupidity.

If i do see my friends again i´ll pretend it´s business as usual because they´re not bad people, they´ve just got the "zombie" syndrome.

What would Rick Grimes do in a situation like this?

Free to express myself by writing whenever I want!

I use to paint and draw many years ago. It the only way I could express myself without having to speak because no one would listen and if even if it was my only way for me to express myself I was always put down and made fun of and this was from my own family members.

slowly I gave up on art and secretly began writing. I say secretly because I did show a couple of people and although one gave me advice on how to make my work better some chick who couldn´t even speak English properly told me that I needed to make changes in the characters and I couldn´t use the person i wrote about as a muse. i never showed anyone else. I thought the cheek of this girl. It doesn´t matter what my story is about and who I chose as my my muses. For example my hero from the age of 9 and now is Bret Hart. whilel every girl in my age group were drooling over New Kids on The Block,Take That and other Boy Bands who eventually split, I had my eyes set on a person who wans´t a singer or an actor and while my parents and brother tries to get me to change with threats, insults and other people butting in, I didn´t listen. Then afterward came, other muses, Carlos and then Jesus. two people who woke something in me and I had to write more. of course I had a bot of compertition from writer wannabes who did nothing but pretend to support me then in their underground forums insult me. their stories were the same shit about kidnapping and torturing thier so called favorite singers. One finds inspiration anywhere if they are open to it. Thsnks to my friend Mia who helped me to open up to new things and since May 2007, I began the journey of the next story i´m wirting. In September of 2007, Met a person who inspired the wolf tattoo I´ve got on my left wrist and the book i´m working on while i´m maternity leave is slowly buliding up. I´d like to thank everyone who believe in me and feel I have what it takes to write. everyone else can get stuffed.

Back with more than 2 cents.

It´s been more than a year since I posted something on here. I was in Italy and I was commenting about how a completely useless person who thinks he´s some big shot superstar thinks that he´s going to get a platinum for his songs if you can call them that. I try not to be a resentful person but it is really hard when I meet people who do nothing but let you down or stab you in the back or at least try to. One person that I am going to talk about claims to be David´s best friend. I say claim because he´s the most unreliable person I know and a hypocrite. The only thing that is worth some kind of appreciatioin on his part is that thanks to him, David and I are together but other than that I´m glald he´s kept his distance. Like David, Erick arrived from Peru on the same flight would you believe, recruited to work in Spain. the difference between the two is outstanding. I´m not saying it because David is my man but even long before we started going out, i could sence that there was something about Erick that I didn´t like. He´s never stopped telling everyone that he´s married but felt the need to shag any bird who didn´t know what kind of a person he was. then he would put his wedding band on like it makes him a better person. then he lectures me about moving to a side when David is suppose to bring the mother of two of his kids to Spain. like thst´s going to happen. Hé´s confused me with Emily. the girl he use to live with a few years back. Now that Erick´s wife in in Spain, suddenly he doesn´t want to be seen with us. apparantly she has a problem with David and me being together living together and having a baby. Like she´s going to pretend that before she came to Spain ahe wasn´t seeing anyone in Lima. No one is perfect and it doesn´t help thinking that you´re better than everyone else. the Truth will come out Erick and when it does you´re screwed! Before I go, i´d like to mention that the is Justice in the world. remember in previous posts there were comments about a worker named Jessica. she must have got on more people´s nerves apart from mine because they moved her from the post she had at the airport to another post far from her home. First Parla and then Toledo. I think it´s a tactic to bore her into quitting. there´s more. Another stuck up bossy cow also got her own. Erika, a so called hostess who´s not only rude to the customers but racist too, was releived of her post as hostess and demoted to regular worker. i´m not one to laugh at other people´s digraces but they deserve everything they get.