A Time for Reflection.

I´ve been away from here for the last two months.

my last blog was about being invited to an Evangelist chruch by the last person who I´d expect to invite me. I´d gone through changes. An end of an era had occured and another one recently began.

I don´t even know where to begin, but I´m at a place in my life at the moment that I´m happy.

Although it´s been hard.

My relationship with a certain person has started all over again. i like it how it is now because it´s more relaxed. everyone thinks we´ve gotten back together but I always like to point out that "We´ve just begun!" I don´t think they understand and I don´t expect them to.

The things it has taken for me to calm down while´I´m at work. certain people still try to make life difficult for me and sometimes I see or hear things that make me feel like turning into "Wolverine". but I´ve now taken a calm approach to things.

A lot has happened and when I can I will explain them a bit at a time. because there is a lot to write about.

but there has been one thing that I will write about briefly.

I am planning a trip. it´s a crazy one. so crazy that I am writing a fiction about it.

I´ll keep you posted

Hugs

Morgana

When the law goes a bit mad.

Thought I´d give this case a mention because this guy involved needs to know that we´re on his side.

I found out about the case of David Goldman through a fellow blogger and having read everything that this guy has been through in the last few years it made me think of my my male friends and co workers.

David Goldman´s son Sean was kidnapped by his mother Bruna Ribiero who has since passed on and was taken to Brazil. More information is on this following website.

http://www.bringseanhome.org/home.html

personally if the ex partners of my friends suddenly turned around and said "Sorry you can´t see your son,daughter or kids" as some have got more than one, they would fight tooth and nail to say "like hell I won´t.

Sadly David has been fighting the Brazilian Courts for years. let´s hope that justice prevails and the good guy wins.

I know there are cases of dead beat dads but recently I´ve met a few who despite the situation or reason that ended the relationship with the mother of their child are still there for their kids, even if it is a phone call once a week.

David, we´re with you on this one mate!!

On going Support to Two Special People.

Yesterday I got a text message from Mia that made me say "huh?"

With the internet working when it feels like it in my new flat and having gone back to work after a nice little holiday that has done me the world of good, I didn´t know what she was talking about.

Today having bougnt a copy of Hola Magazine and been on the internet, reading the official post. It´s true, two of my favourite artists have now joined the statistics of many couples who spend who knows how much time apart.

Carlos Marin and Geraldine Larossa aka Innocence are splitting.

It´s sad to hear but I wish them both the best for the future.

my opinion of both of them has not changed.

I will still support both of them when I can.

but still my heart is a little sore.

hugs

Morgaine

Madrid in a blanket of snow and Chaos!

WARNING: this contains some pretty strong swear words!!


I had lived in Madrid for 10 months and thought that by then I got use to the weather changes. Especially when I had to fork out more money for the high Utility bill which I know part of it was not my fault and had to wear god knows how many layers of clothing as well as 4 blankets in bed.

But not having seen January in Madrid, I was not prepared for what happened one weekend. It was as if I was dreaming.

I had read in fictional novels set at the beginning or General Franco's era in the 40's of what the winters in Madrid were like. There was snow and not dandruff flaky snow but real snow. My heart ached. I wanted to see Madrid like that but since global warming has fucked that up big time, I realised that I was not going to see that any time soon.

I was in for a shock.

One morning when, I let my cat out on to the balcony to use her litter box, I was flabbergasted. The cat for a start, was telling me in her “kitty” language “it's too cold even for me out here!” and I noticed the clothes on the washing line, my clothes had snow! I went back to my nice warm room which surprised me because it meant the heater had been switched on and looked out of my window and everything was covered in snow.

It continued to snow all day long and I had to go out to the shops to get the groceries I didn't get the day before and it was a winter wonderland. My favourite city covered by snow! It didn't stop me from slipping a few times with my damn trainers I had been wearing since I got to Madrid and I had to wear my Peruvian sweater over another sweater as well as my coat, scarf made out of more than one Afghan fox and gloves.

Luckily the Metro wasn't buggered, because I had to go to work that day and they were not taking “It snowed” as an excuse. All flights were cancelled and anyone who had the day off that weekend, were all called in to work.

The Queue from all the passengers who had their flights cancelled due to bad weather, didn't end and the worst part was that we had six tills opened and every damned customer was queuing up at my till. Even when Giovi who was one of the managers in charge politely asked them to form 5 other queues, they wouldn't.


There was me thinking the snow was fantastic, and imagined me on my day off playing in the snow. I hadn't seen so much snow since I was in my early 20's when It took me 3 hours to get home from College one night that finally after 2 hours of being on the bus, I walked home.

Guess I didn't think of how the change in the weather would affect everyone at work. Most of us ended up doing an 11 hour shift that Friday night, and we were all on 10 minute breaks. I wasn't feeling that good that day because of my “monthly visitor” and I as irritable as the stranded passengers. Most of them were at the receiving end of my irritability, the ones that deserved it because they were annoying the hell out of me. I know they were annoyed with their flights being cancelled but it's hardly the airport's fault.

We get enough crap from the airheads who work for certain flight companies who think just because they work for a big airline, they think they're better. It must have annoyed them rotten seeing that there was no way in hell they were going to get served that evening or the next day.

The day after I took advantage of taking photos of where I previously lived at the time. The park was still covered in snow, the fountain had frozen over and I managed a sneaky photo of a cat looking a bit puzzled at the white stuff on the ground.

Luckily there weren't as many arse holes in the queue later but poor Flora, the girl who had the thing for Dave was a bit upset because she had been working since 9.30 without taking a break. I did scare her a little by telling her that when she does go for a break, expect it to be short because of the customers. She was lucky.

I was a particular good mood because that same day, I got the answer I had been waiting for. That I got the room I saw earlier in the week, when Mariana screwed me over with her so called bank appointment and I ended up with a fine from the underground which put me in a fowl mood for two days. I thought thank God for that. A bit of good news at least.

By the time I got to Sunday afternoon for my afternoon shift, I was exhausted. I don't think I had ever had that much work since joining there, even during the summer. My energy was drained big time, I guess I was picking up on the energies of the upset and panicky passengers. There were a lot more Police and civil guards on patrol that weekend too. Well T4 does have a police station on the second floor. All I wanted to do was go to sleep and go home straight after. I was starting to imagine what the two weeks without Dave was going to be like when he was going to visit Peru. I guessed Hell. But I also thought of Canillejas and not having to take an hour to get to work. The idea of getting on the bus with Jessica to see the shocked look on her face made me laugh a bit.

I guessed she would be one of the ones who would annoy the shit out of me the most whilst Dave was away.

Giovi, bless him, every time we're working together on the same shift, tells everyone who likes to poke their nose in my business tells them to mind their own and acts like he's working my corner in a boxing match when ever it gets busy. Whenever I'm in one of my moods and I say “I feel like killing!” he often answers “Go ahead, kill, I'll gladly help!” Then he gets a bit disappointed when it's not the person he thinks I want to kill. It's usually some jerk customer who thinks they can out smart me!

By Monday, some of the snow cleared. I still had to go to work but first of all I had some letters to post. The shocks didn't end there I can tell you. There was me thinking of a concert in Madrid that I would be going to with my best friend Mia and the fact that I would be on a different level to how I was in 2007. This incident on the way to the post office even if it was for 5 seconds and half of my nerves were everywhere, have taught me something more.

This whole week was about new experiences and lessons as well as remembering the life lessons that I have already picked up while being living in Madrid.

Meanwhile I was reflecting on what would happen if didn't move from Hortaleza. It was a moment of weakness that made me feel a bit queesy. All people do there is moan and complain about anything that apparently is not their “norm”. I would have probably frozen to death on the terrace from the cold, with Mitzy the poor dog who I forget what breed she is, the only people who actually pay attention to her are the men in that flat. I think she and my cat would have got on great.

But I don't live there now and the weekend it snowed, made me see how lucky I am that I survived all the elements Mother Nature decided to throw at me.

The Incredible Shrinking Me.

The other day when I was taking a walk to Cuidad Lineal, I noticed that my jeans seemed to be looser than the week before. So I decided to weigh myself. I thought it's probably nothing, I've worn out these jeans for the last fortnight I couldn't have possibly lost weight but in fact the scales weren't lying and neither were the clothes that were a little tight on me either.

I did begin to wonder how is it possible that I lost weight this week.

In the last month, ever since the early days of January I've lost 11lbs in body weight. That's three lbs short from a stone. Now I would be lying if I said that I'm following a meticulous dieting regime where no sugar, fat or carbs were allowed but the truth is, that in the last week, I've done nothing but eat rubbish. Not to mention candy and chocolate sundaes. Last Saturday I had two egg and sausage Mac Muffins.

It could be a number of things and pregnancy isn't one of them. You're suppose to put on weight not lose it, unless there is something really wrong. I am not taking dieting pills and grapefruit juice is a little hard to come by where I now live.

There are a few things that I've stopped eating or eating less of. For starters, I don't eat white bread any more. I didn't eat so much of it back in London but seeing that it's cheaper I use to buy lots of it. But for an extra euro, I am willing to make this sacrifice. I don't eat so much mayonnaise and introduced a lot of vegetables and salads in my diet. There are a lot of other things I am not eating. I wish I can say chocolate but I'm a woman for God's sake.

I know it can only be one thing. Stress. With moving stuff, from flat to flat, Moses being away in Peru, that time of the month arriving two weeks after the last one and having to deal with the 30 and 40 something women all acting like they're five at work, I'm overstressed. I wonder if the grey hair I found this morning was the result of the last couple of weeks. That and the in explainable weight loss.

That grey hair was not there last week that´s for sure!

Don't get me wrong I am really happy that I've lost weight but 11lbs in the space of 3 weeks for me is not normal unless I weigh 90 kilos which I don't.

I need to get to the bottom of what ever it is that is making me lose weight. Sometimes when I get back from my walk from where ever it is I am going, I feel really light headed and dizzy and that's 3 hours after I've eaten a big meal. I

I was ironing my uniform and I came across one pair of pants that I have to wear. I have them in different sizes, 12 and 14. I thought the 12s were the bigger size until I started Ironing the other pair. And as for the T shirt, God it's huge!

Right if this keeps up I will need to seek medical advice, even if it is in the most depressing district in the City of Madrid. Perhaps there is an explanation to all this. Hopefully it's not Thyroid or even worse a tapeworm.

I'll keep you posted on how things are.

Hugs

Morgana.

The Wild Chick Returns.

I can't believe it's been three months since I last posted a blog on here.

Well a lot has happened in the last three months. I've moved again for one thing. The rent was way too high where I was living and keeping my poor kitten locked up in my room while I went to work was not what I had planned when I decided to move into the flat.

I've had no internet for 3 months and I was paying for a subscription which I was not getting at all. I thought with the money I was forking out I could have easily got wireless but nevermind.

Work is still the same, apart from the fact that although January is when things go quiet, it has been really busy but more on that later on.

Oh yeah and Moises is visiting family in Peru there are a number of co workers mostly the women, hell bent to make my life a misery. it makes me wonder if they have anything better to do.. guess not.

While saying goodbye to Moises at the airport, I did meet his sister too which for me is a lot when a guy introduces his girlfriend to members of his family. it was a very hard goodbye. but the 10th Feb is around the corner.

I have a lot of catching up to do. I need to find a flight to Stockholm to visit Mia but it's not as easy as it once was. But I'm sure they'll be some kind of sign telling me what to do.

OK enough blabbing for now. the Internet here is a little limited and I just wanted everyone to know that I am alive and well.

Sadly the cat had to go but she's in a nicer place instead of being locked up. I've always said, I don't want an unhappy cat.

hugs

Tina

Blogging... Relacement for journal entry?

My first trip outside Spain since moving there was to Dublin in Ireland. arriving there was pretty stress free, but other than the reason why I was there which was to see Celine Dion and IL DIVO in action, and to meet some old friends and a new one Angel.... I had to deal with a pain in the arse while I was there and when I got back to Madrid.

I remember browsing in an Irish Gift shop and something caught my fancy. It was a journal, it was at reduced price and I thought well then If I am going to write about my experience in Madrid, I need to write it on paper first.

I use to write in diaries when I was younger, what use to piss me off was having a younger brother who would read the contents of them and then blackmail you afterwards. I got smart when I started hiding them in places I knew he wouldn't look. then I got even smarter by not keeping one at all. I wrote what I was thinking and I was an unhappy teenager, which is no surprise really, but the issues that I had to deal with made living my own life harder.

Looking back I don't really know why I was so concerned about writing all this stuff down if I wasn't going to make use of it. Until I moved to Madrid.

Coming back from Dublin, I began to write what I was thinking, from the huge bust up with my ex flat mate to when I started work. The whole month was eventful, I had more ups and downs because I was starting to be myself more and I was writing what I was thinking. I realized that if I wanted to defend myself through words, then I didn't necessarily needed to use my voice, so I continued to write in my journal in the early hours of Saturday morning only a few hours before I was moving to where I currently live now.

I was still writing things down, for example, there are a lot of things about people I know that are in my journal I have for reference. Most of it will never see cyber space and there are somethings which I am going to post like feelings about other people who have truly touched me in a way that is hard to understand unless you have lived it yourself.

But what's with Blogs anyway? why do people feel comfortable pouring personal stuff about themselves into them. why would anyone go into explicit details over stuff that could start World Wars? And why am I willing to write about things like that myself?

Because I don't want there to be anymore surprises with me. My move to Madrid brought out the me which would eat the invisible chicken suit as Anticuchu. the old me would have never written half of the stuff I have written on here.

I am writing a book for God's sake, If I was worried about what people thought, then I have no chance of being a writer.

I am almost at the end of my Irish Journal. Will I get another one to write down more things or shall I just write on here.... who knows...